.. I am CRAZY about Him..

reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.. and it is a blunt, very effective reminder of what life is all about..  for some reason we dismiss, or I should say, apparently I have been doing this; the fact that the God of the Universe, the One that made all the millions of galaxies, the One that created  the 3000 different species of trees that are growing within one Square mile of the Amazon Jungle -  loves me with a radical, crazy love.. get your head around that one..
He has known me from before I was conceived and has planned out my life and given me a specific purpose..

I am supposed to bring Him glory when things are great, by humbly pointing to Him as the source of anything good in my life .. and I am supposed to bring Him glory when things are tough and people can see that I, by His strength am able to deal with it ( and that does not mean pretending all is fine ) and never lose the peace and joy that He gives me..

fact:

• He called me out of darkness into His marvellous light, even when I was dead in my transgressions and was an enemy of His
• He has shown me my purpose and I have been living a life filled with joy and deeper meaning since the moment He saved me.
• He is with me every second of every day
• He doesn't need me, yet He allows me to be part of what He is doing
• He has surrounded me with people that love Him and love me with His love
• He speaks to me through His Word
• He keeps me safe and gives me all I could ever need

So, what is my problem.. my life here is but a vapour, anything that seems so important to me right now will be forgotten, like I will be in 50-70 years... for sure..and I know that then I will be united with this amazing Creator, who also is my best friend..

how and where I will spend the rest of my life, which could be a mere day or another 30 years, does not matter much.. what matters is what impact I can have for eternity..

will I be received with a "well done, good and faithful servant".. how much will I have loved Him while on earth..

another fact:

• I am CRAZY about Him... and He is CRAZY about me.. that can't be topped...
• COOL

.. surprised by His Goodness.. or: I'd rather be sailing :)

driving home from dropping my youngest off at the airport a wave of this so familiar feeling of being alone in this world swept over me..
a long weekend like the one coming up has a way of highlighting the fact that I am by myself ..
having lost the peace I had found a few months ago about this phase of my life  just recently, I felt sorry for myself and  shed a few tears on my way home..

telling my Jesus just how sad I am I felt I should go and do something I haven't done in a long time.. I went and got my nails done.. I know, vain, a girly thing to do and I really didn't think it  would make me feel better...

but then, the marvellous Darling of Heaven surprised me once again..
started talking to a lady sitting next to me who has been single for about the same time... her husband passed away Christmas Eve 2009..

the blessing wasn't in the "doing something for myself" but in meeting someone , in connecting and relating. phone numbers were exchanged and I really hope we can bless one another in some way..

went to the grocery store and ran into about 10 people I know.. made me feel ..you guessed it : NOT alone..

oh what a God this God of mine is.. He never fails to overwhelm me with His kindness and goodness...
instead of saying to me what I am telling myself.. namely to get over myself and be thankful for what I have, He instead showered me with a special blessing... His gentleness is so sweet..

went home, alone.. but not lonely and sad.. how can I ever doubt that what He has is perfect..

Live in constant expectation for God to surprise you with His goodness! 

"You crown the year with Your goodness"

Psalm 65:11

my little puppy's tiny little snoring noises are endearing and I think I will fall asleep comforted by the love my Father is surrounding me with... He is the GREATEST!!!

.. unbearable?? without Him for sure!!!

it's late, I have slept about a total of 5 hours the last 2 nights.. and yet.. here I am, and, I have something I want to say:
sometimes, I just can't go on.
so there, here it is.
sometimes, it is just all a bit much.
just read a great blog, by a great pastor out there... titled: God will allow more than you can bear ( alone)
ha.... had to click on that one when I read it in a tweet by Ron Edmondson..
he says that somewhere along the line Christians have believed a lie.. the lie that God will never give us more than we can handle...
and as a result we are feeling guilty when those "sometimes" come along..
sometimes life is just unbearable..
it plain sucks.. it hurts too much and it overwhelms us..
he says nowhere in the Bible does it say this.. he points out, and rightly so that it says that we will never be tempted beyond what we can stand up under, as in find a way to escape and not give in to sin...
but turmoil and trial, disappointment and pain????? always able to handle that?
in my 48 years of life I have had my share of those times.. and, compared to others I have had it "easy peasy pumpkin eater" like my little niece calls it..
so what's up with that?????
He allows the times we just cannot handle our life so that we have nowhere else  to go than to Him..
because without Him the mudslide is going to bury us and that was it..
but with Him.. well, with Him, who is strong when we are weak.. with Him, we can do all things...
relying on Him to hold us up under the pressure, difficulty and plain saddening reality of life.. with Him we can overcome.. we can have joy in the suffering, beauty in the turmoil and we can make it through another day..
True.. that's why I am loving this picture.... instead of avoiding looking at it because it symbolizes something I thought I might find just for it to fall apart..
Thanks be to God and Him alone.. #SoliDeoGloria

...orchestrated Blessings... Praise God

I had only been a Christian for a few months when I became a Coffee Break Bible Study Leader... I know, were those ladies out of their minds?????;)
anyways, in 2000 I signed up for the Coffee Break Convention in Grand Rapids Michigan.. my little daughter was only 3 at the time and leaving her and my other two for a few days was something I had not done..
it was worth the trip to Grand Rapids though I remember, great speakers, great workshops and AMAZING worship..
led by a beautiful woman named Annie Herring.....

this was my favourite song from her.. I even sang it once at a Women's Retreat of my own church a few years later... I Worship You...



thinking about Michigan, Grand Rapids and a connection I recently made to someone living there I remembered this song... well, I remembered that I loved it.. old woman I am I had forgotten the name of the artist and the title of the song...

thanks to Google and YouTube I finally found it.. and after not listening to it for at least 8 years or so I was blessed in a very special way tonite...
thanking my God for His attention to detail... gotta love Him :)

.. a bruised reed He will NOT break!!!!!

when I fell last week, flat on both my knees... it hurt... a lot... got up and my knees were still working... you couldn't even see much at first.. the next day the bruise was more visible..
today, a week and a day later my whole lower leg, knee all the way down my shin is green and blue..
my knees still hurt, but not that much anymore..
have been talking about bruises to my heart.. it was exposed, vulnerable.. and it got hurt.. the bruises are not visible.. but they are there...
so today.. when reading and studying my Bible.. this is what I came across:

 Isaiah 42: 1- 4

Behold my servant, whom I uphold,

    my chosen, in whom my soul delights;

I have put my Spirit upon him;

     he will bring forth justice to the nations.

 He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice,

    or make it heard in the street;

  a bruised reed he will not break,

    and a faintly burning wick he will not quench;

     he will faithfully bring forth justice.

 He will not grow faint or be discouraged

    till he has established justice in the earth;

    and the coastlands wait for his law.

the chosen one.. Jesus, has come to establish justice on the earth.. He has come to bind up the broken- hearted.. He has come to save the lost, to comfort the fatherless .. and He will not break a bruised reed..

my Jesus knew that I needed something from Him today.. He blessed me because I ran to Him for encouragement and hope.. He told me, AGAIN, that He knows that right now I feel like a bruised reed.. that AGAIN, I feel sad and alone.. He knew, that I was willing to once again surrender my dreams and hopes to Him.. and He cared enough to AGAIN show me that He understands..

He does not only care like no one ever will, has compassion and is the only one that ever could do anything to help me.. He AGAIN made sure I knew that He KNOWS..

to be known.. my biggest need... to be known means I am worthy to be known.. all about me is worthy to find out.. I am worth His time and attention, I am worth His empathy and His LOVE..

yes, He came to save my soul so that I could be close to Him, know Him and be known by Him..

I might be a bruised reed... but He is looking out for me.. and He definitely will not break me...

REPOST... needed the reminder: God my maker is my husband..

.seeking Him in the morning... dwelling on Him throughout the day, repeating my memory work to myself...I have found again what I had lost over the last few months.. sweet fellowship with my Redeemer... who has given me this scripture that touches me deep in my soul:


“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
   Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
   and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
 For your Maker is your husband—
   the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
   he is called the God of all the earth.
 The LORD will call you back
   as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
   only to be rejected,” says your God.
Isaiah 54: 4-6


another one.. the one I decided to memorize first.. is this:

 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6: 19-20

when I was married.. even though at times  not (in the end never at all) receiving what my soul really needed, not feeling loved or important... I would have NEVER even entertained the thought of cheating on my husband or getting some of what I needed somewhere else... Jesus, the Lover of my Soul definitely gave me everything I needed to stay true to the covenant between me and my husband..

rejected and tossed aside, replaced even while I was still thinking I was in a marriage, erased from a life together, divorced after 10 months of being separated... all of a sudden it seemed that I was not whole, I needed to be completed again by a man... with todays technical means a whole world of possibilities seemed to be at my fingertips... loneliness and the after math of a basically lifelong rejection by significant males didn't help..
clinging to Jesus for mere survival in the beginning, over time I took my eyes off Him...

so thankful today that He really never lets go of me, so thankful that my guilt and shame and His gentle interference and amazing timing brought me back into the safe place with Him...

knowing how vulnerable I really am I have chosen to memorize these two scriptures... for God, my maker is my husband... as much as I would have never cheated on my husband, even though he was, I will NOT cheat on my God and maker... until the day He releases me to the man He has for me I am going to run to Him in my loneliness and rejection.. when I feel less valuable because I am single, when I feel so utterly forgotten and abandoned... these feelings are real and they assault me at night..
by His grace I will dwell on the truth over and over again so that it will be written on my heart:
my Lord has called me back, because I am a wife deserted and distressed in spirit, a wife who married young, only to be rejected...
I trust Him that I will not have to remember the shame of my youth or the reproach of my "divorce" the ultimate abandonment by my husband..

I know I am not strong enough to pull this off, but I know that He is strong when I am weak.... that His grace is sufficient for me...I am just having to rely on that...

.. Bruises and "A Nose in Need Deserves Puffs Indeed" :S

feeling a tinzy weenzy bit better... cough more lose and attacks less suffocatingly long.. only half a huge Kleenex box used up in a day, down from a whole one the day before.. so there is light at the end of the tunnel of whatever this is.. :)
other items that inspire thankfulness and help to take one step at a
time out of the oh too familiar pit...

• my youngest will be done her semester at 10 today!!!
• some rather abrasive, trouble causing individuals have left the country :)
• one daughter gets to go to Cuba with a group of amazing people
• a Cruise in 11 sleeps..... which means meeting up with 2 special friends I haven't seen in a while :)
• a concert every night.. for a week..  ( mainly Michael W Smith :)
• devotion on the ship every morning ( last time that made the Cruise the place of healing it was for me )
• 3 days after arriving home I will have dental implant surgery... Hallelujah... it's about time these baby teeth get to retire.. :S
• in 6 1/2 weeks I get to go away with my 3 beautiful daughters for a total of 3 days... WONDERFUL
• my knee is getting better, looks worse but hurts less :)
• the knowledge deep in my soul that if He closes doors that looked inviting He knows why and it is for the best.... I LOVE the Protector of my Heart and Soul.. He is wise and strong and loves me unconditionally <3

there, that should be good enough for leaving the Eeyore cloud behind for now... hiding in the shelter of His wings is really good for my soul.. not sure when I will dare to come out of there.. but I guess it is a great place to rest.....

..I am waiting...

sick as a dog.. I hate being sick.. coughing and sneezing like there is no tomorrow..
great..
fallen from the perceived "High", down, flat on my face.. so I am calling out to the friend of the poor, once again...
"help me through the night, help me in the fight, come to my rescue..."

if it was about having "someone" in my life I could have had that a long time ago.. I was told I am too picky many times.. :S

I am looking for the one that my Jesus hand picked and groomed for me, the one He made me for.. is changing and transforming me for.. I won't give in to the need for companionship but rather seek Him out when I feel lonely..
He is my bestest friend, the lover of my soul.. His tenderness soothes my soul..always..

have read a few sayings lately that resonate with my soul:

"I love how God hides you from all the wrong ones. Saves u a lot of heartache. The right one will SEE you..and melt.... " now that's what I want..

"a woman's heart needs to be so hidden in the heart of God that the man has to seek Him to find her..."
hiding in the shelter of His wings... someone has to love Him as much as I do to find me... cool.....

what is needed is trust and patience.. total surrender... again and again.. so today, after another disappointment.. I am choosing to surrender and move closer to the One who protects my heart.. who knows best and who comes to my rescue in my loneliness.. I wasn't even that lonely when that someone had come calling.. was not seeking.. so back to my favourite place I go...
serving Him while I am waiting.. actually, just getting better for now is all I am doing... sucks to be sick...

Despair.

sick

lonely

disappointed

abandoned

depressed

losing hope

tired of this all

where are You?

why a glimpse and then a "NO"?

more sadness

more disappointments

blessings?

really?

and then taken away

is it a game?

alone

trying so hard

failing

where are You??

you promised

you are in control

why not for me?

sad

lonely

sick

sick of it

hiding forever?

I wish

how come not for me?

not from the parents

not from the one who promised

when is it enough?

where are You???

how long?

but you are faithful

so I will praise you

because You are the Rock

I continue to put my trust in You

The End

I like my hair, I like my bed, I like my house...

this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it...



lies, coming out of the crevices of old wounds, that are, slowly healing... trying to creep back into my mind over the last few days.. I choose to RENOUNCE them..
knowing full well that this IS the truth:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,  for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. ( 1 Peter 1:6-9 )

I like my kids, I like my puppies, I like my friends, I like my God, I like my church, I like my hair, I like my room, I like everything... I can do everything good... through Christ... who NEVER disappoints. :)

...Roller Coaster and Amazing Love...

what a week this has been.. or should I say what five days those five days have been ;)
from spending a day in the hospital with my mother dealing with a "fluttery" heart, Sunday Worship and Father's Day celebrations,  to a wonderful day of connecting with someone special on Monday, encouragement and blessing beyond my imaginations on Tuesday, a busy and fulfilling day at Hope for Life on Wednesday, followed by a rather draining and depressing meeting at night to being "serenaded"by the wonderful Worship pastor once again.. a busy evening and weekend ahead...
all this with temperatures that make us think of that place were there is eternal fire... you know what I mean...

and this is what I have been blessed with this week: listening to the same song over and over again for a total of eight hours of driving in two days... and yes, this officially made this song the most played song on my iTunes ;) .. during the last of the eight hours this is what God impressed on my heart:

that He, Jesus, who is the friend of the poor... ( not just the poor in regards to material things but anyone poor : in spirit, joy, love, the meek and humble and downtrodden...) understands the heartaches and deep disappointments of my life.. that He, who comes to the rescue of the poor and makes their hearts His home ( and gives their hearts a home ) indeed has been familiar with what has been done to my heart, He, in His amazing love told me that my sadness resulting from not being treated the way I should have been as a child and as a wife is indeed legitimate.. that I have a right to feel this and that He in turn is blessing me abundantly now because in all of it I have continued to seek Him first, clinging to Him and trusting Him..... ( by His grace, mercy and strength)
..cried tears of joy and gratitude when this new dimension of His love sunk into my heart...
as I fathom the depth of His love a little bit more the love I have for Him becomes even more uncontainable ..
I Worship You Lord Jesus... I will never cease to be in awe of Who You are...

"joy follows suffering"

You are Sunrise. You are blue skies. How would I know the morning if I knew not midnight?

midnight I know.. I have dwelled in the darkness of loss and pain.. I "did" my time there, accepted it and allowed it to hurt...  to take it's course... but then, "your cries of love broke through and I fell in love with you once more...

you have lifted me from the pit and have shown me your mercy and love.. you have given me your peace in all circumstances... and so:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,  from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,  that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,   so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love,  may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,  and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. ( Ephesians 3:14-19)

to know you in your suffering oh Lord, is to know abundant life... thank you for letting me experience midnight.. so that I would recognize and appreciate the morning.. oh what a glorious one it is...

#SoliDeoGloria

... Uncompromising?????

uncompromising.... what an offensive word this has become in our "post modern, politically correct, all is good if it is good for you- world"
sounds as bad as when we claim we know truth... your truth, my truth... NO, TRUTH!!!

one of the marks of a great church ( this was a sermon on 1 Corinthians chapter 16 , which concluded the sermon series of the last year through the whole book of 1 Corinthians ) is that we are uncompromising!

other points where: Generous, Relationships, Optimistic, Welcoming, Robust, Loving and Submissive..
so Uncompromising...
I love it... I love how black and white the Bible is.. very outspoken and VERY clear...

I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand.  If anyone has no love for the Lord, let him be accursed. Our Lord, come.
 ( 1 Corinthians 16: 21+22)

no love for the Lord? no love for His church? if you have no love for the Lord, if you look for  answers, help or comfort in something other than the Lord.. as in belief systems you might have had before you were saved  ( like the people in Corinth, going back to the temple of Aphrodites for example) you will be accursed....

if you are not fully committed to Jesus, who is the Truth, the Way and the Life... if you are not fully committed to Jesus, who is the Word... if you are not fully committed to standing up for and living the way His Word and Truth tells you ( failing, but striving always, being transformed)... then let you be accursed...
you will end up being someone the Lord will say to: "get away from me I never knew you..."
there is no grey, no lukewarm, no "creating your own idea of what Christianity is"... why do you think we have been given the Bible... why do you think it is still around today... duh... it is He who has made sure that we can have a copy and be able to understand His Word.. no excuses...

very passionate about this.. yes, I am.
there is more that spoke to me today in church... there will be more.. this though... it is the most important... because, He moves on and "shakes off the sand off His sandals" the Holy Spirit that is...if we do not uphold His Word as the authority of our life, our personal life and that of the church..
and that IS the truth...

.."A fib" or " A Day in the Hospital"...

... so this morning , after taking my puppies outside I had decided that sleeping in was a great plan.. when the phone rang and my father told me my mother was feeling poorly.. problems with her heart..
I jumped out of bed and got ready quick time.. drove over and ended up taking my mother to the hospital..
there is something about someone that feisty and strong to be so obviously in distress..
so thankful we did go even though my mother hates hospitals after last year's months of suffering..
"A fib" or atrial fibrillation.. leading to an irregular and way to fast heart rate is what was diagnosed..
not life threatening today, but dangerous enough to need to be managed with medication....
spent many hours waiting for her heart to calm down and blood work to be okay again..
 a day turning out much different than planned reminded me again of a verse from Proverbs 16:9

In his heart a man plans his course,

    but the Lord determines his steps.

back home after getting her prescription filled and her settled comfortably for the night I spent the night listening to this great young Christian band called Leeland... one song touched my heart in a special way tonite:

On the African plains,

A young mother weeps, for her hungry child

She prays he’ll survive, with tear-filled eyes

She looks up to heaven, and calls your name

She pours out her pain

You know her name, and you hear her cries

Friend of the poor, help me through the night

Help me in the fight, come to my rescue

Friend of the poor, take this skin and bones

Make this heart a home, come to my rescue

On the streets of L.A.

An old man lies in his cardboard home

He feels so alone, with tear-stained eyes

He looks up to heaven, and prays a prayer:

“Is there anyone there?”

You know his name and you hear his cries,

It’s getting dark, it’s getting late

It’s cold outside the rich mans gate

And I’m wondering,

Do you have any friends around here?

today was another gift from the Lord, another day I didn't have to say Good bye to my mother.. the Friend of the Poor, a Friend to all that need Him, He was with us today, gave the Dr's wisdom and made the medication work.. The Friend of the Poor.. the One who made my heart His home.. I pray that today He will make her heart His home.. thanking Him for His good and perfect plans...

Graduation and the road ahead...

what a week.. a whirlwind of activity following 2 weekends of events and rushing around..
this week, starting with the LSAT taken in London, Ontario by my middle daughter, followed by Graduation festivities and her actual Graduation last night..
proud and happy moments... and moments of experiencing the reality of some not so wonderful facts..
this is what life has been and will continue to be, this is, I think, a very normal thing ... growing, learning, embracing the journey..
even the speaker at the University Graduation eluded to it.. it is an ongoing thing..
not all will be perfect,  but all will be needed ingredients on our path to becoming who God has planned for us to be..
much older than this daughter of mine who celebrated this significant event in her life last night I am still on that path as much as she is...
I think I might know a bit better who I am and who this God of mine is, just because I have spent about 27 years more than her on this journey.. there is not a day though that goes by, that doesn't have me learning something new..
layer by layer God is revealing Himself and what He has for me.. often painful sometimes really cool, I am on the journey for better or  for worse..
the good thing is that I know that it is for the better in the end for sure..
for her, the future is bright, so many possibilities, she has proven she has it in her to work hard for what is important to her and there will be a lot that she will achieve..
degrees and titles and positions..  as futile as striving for those could be in the end, when our eyes are fixed on Jesus He will indeed use it for the furthering of His Kingdom and the blessing will be "out of this world"
commitment, intelligence, opportunities.. all  these things have been given to her by her Father in Heaven..


 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

doing the good works that God has in advance prepared for us to do is the greatest blessing in this life..
seek first His Kingdom and all the desires of your heart will be given unto you... bumps in the road and great moments alike, they all are ingredients of our journey here..

God bless my Graduate!!!

outwardly wasting away...

so it's official.. not only do I need prescription reading glasses ( stigmatism's in both eyes ) but also glasses for distance... REALLY?
craziness. this whole aging thing , when did it start???

seems like in this culture we have forgotten how to age with dignity... botox, plastic surgery, derma abrasion, anti wrinkle creams and hair implants... :S seriously?

in a world where youth stands for fun and adventure and strength, where it is all about running after   whatever makes you happy, aging is a sure sign that this life is one day going to come to an end and it must be fought with all that we have in us..

there is nothing wrong with eating healthy and exercising.. after all, God gave us our bodies and we are to treat them well. Our body is His temple and we have to take good care of it.. but..

what happens when we do not age well? we still age... we cannot hide it forever and rather than embracing this phase in our life and bless those around us with our wisdom and experience, we become a sad shell of the person we could be for the generation coming after us...

as children of God we know that after this, we are going to spend eternity with Him.. this is what His Word tells us:


Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.... ( 2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

aging well: realizing your limitations and joyfully blessing those around us.. investing in your children and grandchildren, leaving behind a legacy of otherness and humility...
that's my plan and by His Grace I think I will be able to do this, glasses and all... :)

.. For all my single friends!!! A MUST READ!!!!

up again...( it bothers me) ..in the middle of the night...
but this is what I found hidden in my "documents" .. for all the single people I know:


Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone; to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God to the Christian says, "No, not until you're satisfied and fulfilled and content with living, loved by me alone and giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.”

"I love you, my child, and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or belongings.”

"I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait.”

"Don't be anxious and don't worry. Don't look around at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away up to me, or you'll miss what I have to show you."

“And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time, and until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I've prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is perfect love.”

"And Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with myself. Know I love you. I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied."

Matthew 6:33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

And Psalms 37:4-5 Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

without knowing I had this in my "archives" this is exactly what He has taught me...
I am expecting great and marvellous things..  :)

..our days are like fleeting shadows..

up early this morning, I think it was 4 am... ended up responding to an email and listening to some songs on YouTube... I know, crazy..

this was the fav one from this morning:

You have searched me, Lord,

    and you know me.

 You know when I sit and when I rise; 

    you perceive my thoughts from afar.

 You discern my going out and my lying down;

    you are familiar with all my ways. 

 Before a word is on my tongue

    you, Lord, know it completely. 

 You hem me in behind and before,

    and you lay your hand upon me.

 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, 

    too lofty for me to attain.

 Where can I go from your Spirit?

    Where can I flee from your presence?

 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

 even there your hand will guide me, 

    your right hand will hold me fast.

 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

    and the light become night around me,”

 even the darkness will not be dark to you;

    the night will shine like the day,

    for darkness is as light to you.

 For you created my inmost being; 

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful, 

    I know that full well.

 My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

 Your eyes saw my unformed body;

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! 

    How vast is the sum of them!

 Were I to count them, 

    they would outnumber the grains of sand —

    when I awake, I am still with you.

 If only you, God, would slay the wicked! 

    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! 

 They speak of you with evil intent;

    your adversaries misuse your name. 

 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,

    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;

    I count them my enemies. 

 Search me, God, and know my heart; 

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

 See if there is any offensive way in me,

    and lead me in the way everlasting.

since this morning I have found out about 2 people, a child and an adult who have been diagnosed with cancer just now.. my daughter was near the shooting on Saturday, on this day about 400 babies will be aborted.. and so it goes on..

O Lord, what is man that you care for him,

    the son of man that you think of him?

 Man is like a breath; 

    his days are like a fleeting shadow.

each day is a gift from the Lord.. let us use it wisely.. trusting Him and resting in Him.. serving Him and worshipping Him.... May the peace of the Lord be with all that love Him today!!!

... I can't resist your tenderness....

sharing from my heart with a special friend yesterday, she encouraged me by saying what she loves about me so much is  how my love for Jesus is so evident in my life..

made me think of this song, and how it sums up who I am...

explains why I so want to obey Him, explains why I can trust Him,

 explains why, because I love Him so much and spending time with Him

I know how much He loves me...

this song sung  by Michael W Smith at a concert in Hamilton, May 2009 was when God gave me this vision of Himself... I had never heard the song before..

I saw my loving Father stooping down to pick the broken pieces of me up from the floor, cradling me in His arms, He said to me : I know what you are going through.. I care .....

oh, how precious have been the moments of total surrender, limp and shattered in His arms, held closely by the Creator of the Universe.. hearing His heartbeat..

that moment at that concert was just one of the times the Lord revealed His love for me in such tangible ways...

and you know what? I believe Him now, because I cannot resist His tenderness, it is real!!!

I know, that all He has and allows in my life is for my very best... 

Sitting at your feet is where I wanna be

I'm home when I am here with you

Ruined by your grace enamored by your gaze

I can't resist the tenderness in you

I'm deep in love with you Abba Father

I'm deep in love with you Lord

My heart it beats for you precious Jesus

I'm deep in love with you Lord

Humbled and amazed that you would call my name

I never have to search again

There's a deep desire that's burning like a fire

To know you as my closest friend

I'm deep in love with you Abba Father

I'm deep in love with you Lord

My heart it beats for you precious Jesus

I'm deep in love with you Lord

my heart is full of love for and from Jesus... it spills over... it can't be contained.. it is truly AMAZING!!!!

..choosing joy in the brokenness...

Solo, Duet and Trio Show  "The Night of the Stars" last night..
rejoicing that my youngest is still part of this.. this time last year a mass had been found in her kidney and I remember wondering what the future would hold for her..
God was merciful and the CT scan came back clear 2 weeks later..
thankful last night that God in His mercy had spared my oldest from getting hurt by a shooter in the Mall the night before, I was finding myself sitting right next to my Ex-husband and his wife...
dealing with this my soul just chose to praise God.. prayers forming in my mind, not because I wanted to but because my Spirit has learned to praise Him and thank Him at all times and especially when my heart feels vulnerable, assaulted by the brokenness of this world..
this is what is TRUE for all who love the Lord:

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;

     my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you,

    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

    beholding your power and glory.

 Because your steadfast love is better than life,

    my lips will praise you.

 So I will bless you as long as I live;

    in your name I will lift up my hands.

 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

 when I remember you upon my bed,

    and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

 for you have been my help,

    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

 My soul clings to you;

    your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:1-8

( thanks to Pete Wilson @Cross Point Church, Nashville,TN for tweeting a verse from this Psalm this morning )

praising Him and thanking Him and telling Him how much I love Him focuses my heart and mind and soul on what is important.. His steadfast love is better than life... He satisfies my soul.. He keeps me safe in the shadow of His wings and His right hand upholds me no matter what!

#SoliDeoGloria

.. escaping the shooter at the Eaton Center... God has a plan!

.. a little baby.. loved from the moment of conception ( okay... once the Pregnancy test came back POSITIVE ) nurtured, cheered on, guided, prayed over, prayed for, loved and disciplined, as near to one's heart as can be...

one day you celebrate her 24th Birthday, and the next evening she is steps away from a crazy maniac shooting at people in a Shopping Mall...

O Lord, what is man that you regard him,

    or the son of man that you think of him?

 Man is like a breath;

    his days are like a passing shadow. (Psalm 144:3+4)

had a conversation with her the night before about life, inspired by a young man's testimony at church last week.. stating he had wonderful wife, 3 amazing children and a house and realized he was not going to spend the rest of their lives coasting and accumulating more things.. but rather wanted to live for the Lord and serve Him..

and there she was, 24 hours later confronted with how fragile life on earth is...

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”

  “O death, where is your victory?

    O death, where is your sting?”

 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

  Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. ( 1 Cor 15: 55-58)

as always, this amazing God of ours has already spoken to this, His Word, no surprise, has already addressed this... it is a no brainer... we are here to SERVE and bring GLORY to God..

 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,   but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

 ( Matthew 6:19-21)

Thanking God today for sparing my Louisa and her friend..  Praying that she will fix her eyes on Jesus... He alone is what it is all about!