"... sometimes I wish I lived when Jesus was walking this earth, I would have wanted to be Mary, sitting by His feet and listening to what He had to say, soaking in His presence, basking in His gentleness and love.... hearing truth , spoken by the "Way the Truth and the Life"..... but then I would have had to go through the heartache of losing Him, seeing Him again, just for Him to leave for good... to have known Him "personally" though would have been so amazing... wondering if I would have loved Him more than I do now... or believe in Him more...
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him (1 Peter 1:8 )
Loving Him, enjoying His presence.. staying at His feet, pouring out my love, my heartache and my sadness... my joy and my excitement... my worries and my brokenness...letting go of any selfish notion.. makes me think of a new favorite song...
Here before Your altar
I am letting go of all I've held
Of every motive, every burden
Everything that's of myself
And I just wanna wait on You, my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are
Beautiful, beautiful
Oh, I am lost for more to say
Beautiful, beautiful
Oh Lord You're beautiful to me
Here in Your presence
I am not afraid of brokenness
To wash Your feet with humble tears
I would be poured out till nothing's left
And I just wanna wait on You, my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are
I just want to dwell on who He is, how much He loves me, how much I love Him, and how I can serve Him and follow Him... "
returned two nights ago from a 10 day visit to Israel. the amount of impressions, information and emotions is totally overwhelming... percolating, as always, the Lord, the Spirit, His Word and His nearness... walking on roads and steps He walked on, overlooking landscapes He was overlooking, sailing on the Sea of Galilee, like He was... standing in the places of His suffering, dwelling on who He was and is... I am getting new glimpses of my Jesus..... too much to process right there and then I am excited what He will show me through all of this..
having studied the Old Testament over the last 6 months more intensely, being where King Hezekiah ( my absolute fav king, what can I say ) build a tunnel to have a source of water in the city in case of a siege by the Assyrians, just almost blew my mind....
one of the words that are bubbling up through all of this is AWE.... total AWE ..
from the beginning, we, God's creation, have always messed up so royally, it is almost incomprehensible that He has not totally ERADICATED us...
but instead He kept on forgiving, He kept on hearing the cries of His people, coming to their rescue, again and again...
MERCY... GRACE... not getting what we deserve and receiving what we do not deserve....
all of the Old Testament makes one very clear point.... mankind is not able to live up to what God rightfully expects of us... we are irredeemable ...
HE, the Redeemer had to come, goats and lambs were never going to be enough of a sacrifice to atone for our relentless sin... not until He came... and He did....
never have been able to get my head around this, and I never will, I am sure until I see clearly, not like in a mirror.. when He finally calls me home to spend eternity in His presence, finally...
His love is uncontainable and I want to sit at His feet, I want to absorb it all, down to the last little bit... and with it, I want to love Him back and those He has put into my path... so as to not hinder Him from accomplishing what He wants to accomplish through me... that they too would know Him... and that He would receive the glory and honor He deserves... it is and will always be only about HIM!
SOLI DEO GLORIA
