...walking with Him, drinking in His love , acceptance and wisdom... walking closely in intimate fellowship... will I be able to keep the closeness if for some reason the path I am on would happen to lead me out of the valley and up to some higher areas.. restoration and healing... an ongoing process...growing and learning... trusting and hoping... accepting and moving on... taking the eyes off self and fixing them on Him and those He puts around me.. wonderful, really.... but scary as well...If I don't have to hang on for dear life... will He, the love of my life be as important as He is right now when things are easier?? Or will I start depending on myself or others instead of on Him...
A wonderful and wise friend of mine tonite pointed out that when He grows us and teaches us in the valley times it will not disappear just like this... if we thought that would happen we were totally underestimating who God is.. making Him and His power so much smaller...
Yes, when things are easier we tend to sometimes run off on our own... and maybe, even after walking so closely for the last 18 months that could still happen for a bit... very soon though we would notice and miss the closeness with Him.... when I was saved so long ago, that moment I fell in love with Him and this love for Him has grown over the years... it has become so very, very humongously big... I cannot even fathom it.. overwhelmed in the most wonderful way...He is too important for me to disappoint Him and miss out on my time together with Him... to be in constant communion... like thoughts connected at all times... Him leading me every step of the way...Don't want to lose that... not for any perceived happiness that anything in this world could offer... it's like I feel almost protective over this relationship.... it is so precious to me.... this "dress rehearsal" I am living is not the real thing... the real thing is when I will be with my Saviour in Heaven.. spending eternity with HIM ..... it is wonderful serving Him and walking with Him...... all I am saying is that I want it to stay the way it is... I am thankful for the difficult times He has allowed in my life... what was intended for evil He turned into a relationship with Him that is so very very very much more worth than any happiness in this world....
Love Him from the bottom of my soul and with every fiber of my heart......
