... fill the void.....

.... wouldn't  it  be so great if we just could hibernate.... crawl into bed and hide and stay there until all wounds have healed and a nice new layer of healthy skin has grown over  the holes... no longer any evidence left of what has been ripped apart...
... if you think about it, had I been in a car wreck... and really for sure you can compare wrecking a family to a car accident... I would be in the hospital and then in rehab until all healed and ready to enter the real world again..
so, if I could just stay in the presence of the healing power of Jesus and not have to go on living my daily life, maybe I would be healing better, more consistently.
I feel pathetic and self absorbed to talk about the ongoing struggles, but then there are some that say it helps them, knowing that they are not alone in their troubles..
... just now, when driving to the church to pick up my little one from Youth group I had tears streaming down my face again and just pleaded with my Lord to please meet me in a different way... it's just not working, the up and downs,  so tiring and frustrating...

I need Him to permanently fix my lonely, rejected heart... my heart that is too vulnerable and so tossed  about like a little boat in a storm... I am pleading for His Spirit to wash over me and fill me in a way He never has... to transform my foolish, foolish heart that still falls for human attention instead of only relying on His love... so foolish, it sickens me...
So now, I am going to go to my bedroom and in the loneliness of it I am going to cry out until He meets me... I know that He will.... .......maybe I just need to stay there for a time....
...... maybe even  for a season...

... A Prayer for All the Children....

...You thought of them before the creation of the world...Thank you Lord
...You gave your life for them.... We can never thank You enough.
... fixing Your eyes on the joy laid out before You, You sacrificed yourself
... You formed them in our wombs...Oh Lord Thank You for the privilege of being a mother
...You put them together and made them into the unique and wonderful children they are, we shall forever praise You
...You have plans for them , Lord
Plans to prosper them and not to harm them
Plans to give them a hope and a future...
.... so Lord, as we let them go one step further away from us,
may You be their shelter and refuge..
may You lead them and keep them safe...
... We praise You because You promised you would never leave them or forsake them,
... we praise You because You love them more than we do...
We praise You because You are their Daddy and You will keep them close in Your embrace
when we have to let them go...
We bless Your Holy Name Lord as You bless our sons and daughters today and forever more.
May they draw closer to You each day of their lives and surrender themselves to You.
We praise You  forever and ever...
Love you Lord