I am 47 years old now, that is OLD :( and have been a Christian for almost 17 years...it is interesting how the more I am getting to know the Lord, the more I am confronted with how sinful and broken I am... I guess that is to be expected, when coming closer and seeing His holiness and glory more and more clearly, my own shortcomings are increasingly exposed in the light... considering the reactions of some mighty godly people in the Bible this is not surprising at all...
There is Isaiah when encountering God he fell to the ground ....
"Woe to me!”he cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” (Isa 6:5)
Then there is John, on the island of Patmos... seeing the Lord in all His splendor...
When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. ( Rev 1:17)
( I love how caring Jesus responds to John...)
as the Lord continues to show me my faults, hang ups and hurtful ways, I am amazed at His love for me, it might sound crazy ( and there are some that say I am just that) but I am so thankful He does that... each time I am blown away by the way He does this so gently... and each time I am more assured of His unconditional love for me..
a few days ago , having lunch with my sister I was once again reminded that our upbringing was far from gentle, perfection was expected and cruelty was the response to failure.... it has left us afraid of failing ... living under a fair amount of pressure constantly... for some reason both of us ended up with men that continued the cycle.. criticism our daily bread.
so as I am realizing more and more that I too am someone that, even if unintentionally, hurts those around me, as my Father in Heaven convicts me and lets me see this, as I am horrified and repent, He affirms His love for me even more..
The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
( Psalm 103:8-13 )
I am blessed because not only does He forgive, He also restores relationships .. the sweet aroma of those restored relationships is a wonderful gift from Him who requires this from us:
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
(Micah 6 :8)
