looking at BBQ's online... and Gazebo-Screen thingis for the backyard... and a wave of that sense of loss comes over me... unexpectedly....
I don't want to buy a BBQ... I have not the slightest idea what is good enough... can't spend the money to get something we used to have... how much money do you have to spend to have something that lasts? I don't know... I don't really want to know either... but, we already had one summer without a single BBQ meal... so I have to get over myself...
the screen thingi... I hate mosquitos... but I want to be able to spend evenings outside... because it is nice to sit outside at night...
some part of me wants to plant flowers and make this little backyard nice and the other part wants to just stay in bed...
have not put up my stencils for the walls, wonderful scripture verses, so meaningful..... tried it.. couldn't do it.. put it away...need a new thermostat to control the temperature in the house... haven't gotten that done..
someone asked me about the Center... haven't been able to get my excitement or motivation up... don't know why...
no reason to be so down..
here is some advice for my married friends... MAKE it work.... put all the energy into that relationship you have..... I know that we can be so sad, so disappointed, so hurt and hopeless... never give up... keep on fighting for it... what you are left with when it breaks apart is nothing but ruins and rubble, losses and memories... and loneliness ... and on top of all that I now have to buy a BBQ........... ;)
you are where you are supposed to be... love your spouse, respect your man, be obedient to God and trust Him for what you need... ask yourself if this is how you love:
are you patient? are you kind? do you envy? boast? are you rude? self-seeking? are you easily angered? do you keep records of wrongs????? do you delight in evil? or rejoice in the truth? do you always protect, hope, trust and persevere????
let me tell you it is worth it... it might not feel like this right now, but it is.... it really is....
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
with God as the third strand... you can do it, put Him first... trust Him to provide wisdom and strength, grace and love for one another... and you will be blessed... so will be your children...
