a weekend that did not bring out the best in me... I have to admit it... thankful for the "deposit" that has been made in my heart... to guarantee my inheritance until the day of Christ Jesus... the Spirit.... revealing to me my short comings.. had a 24 hour window where: "why do I always have to do what is right for everyone else" won the battle.... decided not to and hurt my daughter's feelings....
allowing some deep and hidden stuff in her to come to the surface... and again... He never wastes our bad decisions....He is so wonderful.... that's the sunny, making everyone feel fine so that she can feel at peace, one... confronted with the fact that there are big things that are not fine... good for her to see that she too, even though she really did not want to go there, needs to face how the break up of the only family she has known has affected her....
oh the ripple effect... it makes me feel sick... the bad choices I have made along the way... even though forgiven by God for them, it breaks my heart how my dear unsuspecting children have been hurt by them...
...others have added their mistakes... in all of this, He still is sovereign... now to wrap your head around that one... :S
yesterday was a great day otherwise though, church was once again what it needs to be.... expressing to Him how important He is, spending time worshipping Him and being filled with His Word... then, the Volunteer training... a great group of women, a lot of God given wisdom ... understanding shared about what this life is all about...
news flash, it is NOT about "white picked fence happiness".... that's not why we are here... that's not even why we are going to be opening the doors of the Pregnancy Center in September...
it is to point people to Him, who alone has the answers to our questions... who is the real reason we are here... who we get to know better as the bad choices and the sinfulness that are a fact of this broken world assault us... who is the only Hope for Life we have... life abundant and life eternal...
watching your children grow up and mature... a blessing but also hard.. very hard... especially when guilt that has already been nailed to the cross could be the outcome... now that is not what God has in mind for anyone....
heard something very good and encouraging yesterday: we all are children of the perfect parent, God... and see how we are struggling... He never has made any mistakes and yet, we are rebellious, stubborn and just don't get it right.... He let's us figure it out... after asking my daughter for forgiveness and promising her to be the one who will do what is right for everyone else next time her father comes to visit and acts accordingly, I am now just letting go of my need to control things so that my child is happy and let her figure it out... my prayer is that she will learn to go to her perfect father.... the One who is mine as well..... because He will never let her down, like I did yesterday...
#SoliDeoGloria
