only good news and further recovery for my mother... patience is all we need to have.... can't wait for her to really understand how much I love her... on Tuesday we will hear if the tumor that was removed is cancerous... there might be a whole different scenario to deal with then... not going there right now though, why borrow trouble from tomorrow.... today has enough of it's own...the rest of the equation has received a few more components... seeing someone for the first time since the summer of 2009... meeting possible because forgiveness was extended and reconciliation pursued by me in response to what my Jesus was telling me... meeting in person, in a place where for 17 years my husband, me and my kids would go together... where the affair was ( at least that's what I was told) consummated... where last February a trip planned for me and my husband, the two of them spent the time instead... the place where my 3 children stayed for a week this February, to celebrate his birthday with his fiancee and her family....
the onslaught of memories and pain is a bit overwhelming right now and I am asking all of my friends that read this to pray for some extra comfort for me.....
the brokenness of my life so evident... the relationships in my family so complicated .... I am exhausted....
I am rejoicing in the fact that even though 5 days ago it looked like I was losing my mother, today I am encouraged and full of hope that she will recover...
I am rejoicing that a relationship I thought could never be repaired is as mended as it can be.... I know that all of this is a blessing from the Lord.... I need Him so much... right now, I really would rather continue writing and hide in my room than sit down to dinner with everyone... my heart has been broken and even though my faithful Lord has been mending and healing it... just now the wounds feel quite raw again.... I am pretty sure that my Abba is carrying me right now... otherwise I think I couldn't continue to walk...... He loves me so much.... it literally takes my breath away....
