Realizing that my love and passion for my Saviour defines me.. it is okay to be "just" that... not just tolerated and sometimes made fun off.. my passion looked upon as being fanatic... not able to share this passion with the one I was sharing my life with... something always missing ... this part of me allowed to be lived out only in the ministries I was serving and with my Christian girl friends..I never knew that some part of me was always tucked away when I was the wife that was trying to make it work ( in His strength.. funny isn't it ) never aware I was putting some part of me on hold... nobody made me do that.. I just did...
Now, as I am getting more and more comfortable being "just me" there is no more reason for me to hide who I really am... a grateful follower of Jesus Christ, fully sold out to Him, living out of the abundance of His love that is oozing out of me... unstoppable no matter the cost....
I have been told numerous times that I was too intense, that not everything had to do with God and the Spiritual Realm... when I always see what is going on on this level ...
This morning He made that clear to me.. that I am me, Miriam, His beloved child and that He has made me into this passionate and totally committed to Him woman... that my purpose is to represent Him to the world and that this is GOOD. That it is all I need, and that this is the reason He allowed the sin that was committed against me... allowing me to know from the bottom of my heart that I had done everything I could to make my marriage work ... He allowed it to set me free, to be free to be who He has made me to be...
My heart once again is overflowing with thankfulness and awe.... uncontainable, overwhelming... and I know that many people just cannot relate and understand what is going on.. .and that is okay...
My focus is to follow Him, worrying not how to please men but how to please Him who died for me.... surrendering my will, my life, my hopes and desires... and realizing that I will not settle... that if there is a man that God has for me it will have to be someone who is as crazily in love with Him who is the reason we are here.. the lover of my soul.. my Redeemer and King...my Jesus!!!
