..You are well acquainted with my grief...

found a new fav song... I think they are amazing.. 

Leeland... a band out of.... : NASHVILLE..... 

who would have thought.. 

one of the members of the band is Jack Mooring, Whitney's ( MWS eldest daughter's) husband... 

yes... very talented... very deep.... speaks to my soul....

Fear is far from love

And I feel scared enough

To think You’ve given up on me

But I can’t hide my shame

You know my deepest pain

You are well acquainted with my grief

Oh great God of power

I have lost my strength

This is my desperate hour

I’m calling out Your name

I cry

Are You out there tonight

Or am I all alone

This time it’s the fight of my life

So I cry

I can’t do this on my own

I can’t do this on my own

I am giving You control

If weakness is a crown

Then I kneel before You now

And lay it at Your feet as an offering

And if You hold everything

Then don’t let go of me

Hide me in the shadow of Your wings

Oh great God of power

I have lost my strength

This is my desperate hour

I’m calling out Your name

Are you out there tonight?

I can't do this alone....

this is not my most desperate hour, thanks be to Him... but I am always desperate for Him... because there is NOTHING I can do on my own.. it seems when one thing is working well there are 5 other areas that fall apart at the same time..

being the "emotionally sensitive" person that I am I just think my skin is a bit thin... being called to serve in front-line ministry is very rewarding, but very difficult as well... seeing all the brokenness so clearly... it breaks my heart.. ALL THE TIME..... thankful to be able to offer some support and relief... I am still heartbroken, even discouraged at times.... it is just not supposed to be like that.....

what could anyone ever hope to accomplish to help those in need without the "Great God of Power".... so thankful I know Him...  with Him all things are possible... with Him, the Mountain Mover, nothing is big enough to take away hope... calling out... wondering if He is out there.. I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt He is actually right here.... clinging to Him for my personal needs as much as for everyone I know that needs Him... holding on to Him with the last little bit of strength I have... desperately.... and then, I realize.. it is Him who is holding me #Amazinglove

...broken hearts making history????

...Pippi Longstocking said something very wise one day.. "you get to hear a lot before your ears fall off"...

soooo  true.................... heard some more, yesterday... I am a fanatic and a dangerous combination of emotionally sensitive and very intelligent... wow... I am someone who buries her teeth in a bone and won't let go... hmmmmmm........

compliments???? or painful daggers.... not meant as daggers and still...fanatic, I argued, should really be passionate... but then, I was told, I was naive... so... what can I say... I am who God made me to be..

despite the hurt, the neglect and the abuse of my childhood, the blatant narcissism of significant male figures in my life He has made me into exactly who I am meant to be...

Is it true today that when people pray

Cloudless skies will break,

Kings and queens will shake?

Yes, it's true, and I believe it,

I'm living for You.

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land.

I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind.

I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run into Your arms,

Into Your arms again,

Into Your arms, into Your arms again.

Is it true today, that when people pray

We'll see dead men rise,

And the blind set free?

Yes, it's true, and I believe it,

I'm living for You. 

Is it true today, that when people stand

With the fire of God and the truth in hand,

We'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing,

We'll see broken hearts making history?

Yes, it's true, and I believe it.

I'm living for you.

( Martin Smith, History Maker)

ministering / sharing truth with family... very hard.. but I am called to stand, with the power of truth in my hand... I have wrestled and I have achieved something monumental... the person has agreed to read the four accounts of the Gospel.... and I have promised to keep my mouth shut if he will not encounter my God in there....  so there....

The Father has decided for me to be here, at this time, in this place, with this broken and damaged heart to be a history maker... pouring my love and my essence out to those that cross my path.. at Hope for Life, at the grocery store or in "family meetings".......... exhausting, yeah, sometimes, but so worth it... because, what would be better than living for HIM... I can't think of anything..... :)