.. okay, I am done with it.
Today, millions are without a home, without food, without loved ones, without hope... today millions have not heard the Good News.. today children are being abused, neglected... this year, like every year 15 million children will die of starvation... this year 700 000 to 4 million women and children have become victims of sex trafficking, which has now become the 3rd most profitable business for organized crime... this year 42 million babies worldwide have been aborted.... about 40 million children were abused this year worldwide....... this is a very sad and tormented world we live in....
so enough of the self pity... I am thankful that we are healthy, have a home, have clothes to wear and food to eat.. we have friends and family that care.. we are not hiding from people that want to do us harm or have to be afraid of stepping on a land mine...
most of all though, we have heard the Good News... we know Who our Saviour is, we know that He has a plan and a purpose for each one of us... He has plans for us to prosper us and not to harm us... receiving His love we now need to take our eyes of ourselves and serve Him where He has planted us.. serve where the passion He has given us leads us and rejoice in our blessings and share the love of Christ with those around us..
there are so many ways of getting involved in communicating His love... we could have filled some shoeboxes with gifts for children in some part of the world through Samaritan Purse.. we can sponsor a child through World Vision and by this make sure he or she receives food, clean water, medical help and an education... we need to be involved in our churches ministries, we can support charities in our communities by investing our time and volunteering or by giving money.. we can help an old lady into the mall when the wind is so strong she can't move forward... we can make a meal or lend a hand to a friend in need... we can pray for those we know... there are so many ways to reach out and bless others...
it's what has given me joy no matter the circumstances... it is what has given me hope and joy in the last 6 months.. reaching out to the girls that come to the Center in Cambridge and now as we officially have moved into the planning stages for the Center here.. to the ones God will have for us here... it is great to be able to help in any way or form, it is what really brings joy... it is better to give than to receive... gifts and love, help and support... so there... done with the whining... accepting reality for what it is but not letting it bring me down.. I am blessed, I am a child of the Most High... all things are possible through Him who gives me strength... I am excited about the plans He has...
He is my help in trouble and as I am lifting up my children to Him I am trusting Him for them, for the drive to Toronto, for the time together there and for their future... their names are engraved on the palm of the hands of the Lord "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands..." Isaiah 49:16 He cares for them more deeply than I do...
I love Him for that as well....
Saturday, December 25, 2010
.... living the " not supposed to be moments"
... Christmas Celebrations done.. for now... interrupted by the need to separate the children from their mother... weird, how that's what a divorce does too... separated not only the husband and wife, but the children, at times from one parent, most of the time from the other..
"Not supposed to be" times of loneliness and sadness... so this afternoon my daughters plus one boyfriend are going to celebrate away from me with their Dad and his new partner... maybe a little awkward for them ( it is getting easier as the time goes by), sad for me, but okay....
I remember last year on the 24th... the girls meeting with him for lunch... 6 days after... leaving me alone for the first time ... numb then still... in such shock that I didn't feel the full impact of what this all meant.
Isn't God so good?? Making us in such a way that there is a self defense mechanism that shields us... when things are just too fresh to even comprehend them...
Today I am choosing to face the feelings that are going to come this afternoon .. I am choosing to face them by myself because I know that it is important to face reality and pain.. it is important to cry, it is important for me to feel utterly alone and helpless.... it is necessary for me to process these feelings and to realize again that my hope is not in people, even such important people as my own children and family, but in Him, and only Him. I have always been like this, listening to sad music when sad , crying my heart out until I was better.. I could never keep my feelings in... I know, that's why some people, those that have no idea what to do with all the suppressed feelings of their lives , are actually threatened by me and have to get away... I am who God has made me and I am willingly going to the hard places, face them, allow them to bring me to my knees... because I know that this is the best place for me to be... on my knees...
Like the song from Jaci Velasque
There are days
when I feel
The best of me
is ready to begin
Then there's the days
when I feel
I'm letting go
and soaring on the wind
'Cause I've learned in laughter or in pain
How to survive!
I get on my knees!
There I am before the Love
That changes me
See I don't know how
But there's power
When I'm on my knees
I can be
in a crowd
Or by myself
and almost anywhere
When I feel
there's a need
To talk with God
He is Emmanuel
When I close my eyes,
no darkness there
There's only light!
I get on my knees....
Bob Carlisle in " on my knees" puts it like this:
...so I can stand tall
on my knees I can see forever
on my knees I can face it all
I feel like I can climb a mountain
cause on my knees the world's
a little smaller
and I stand taller
on my knees...
As we acknowledge our brokenness and need for a Saviour , as we kneel before Him knowing we have NOTHING to give, nothing to offer, no means to deal with our beaten up and shattered hearts... in desperate need of Him... His presence, His healing, His touch , His love.... that's when we receive Him once again and His peace surrounds us like a thick layer of cotton balls... and warmth.... that's when we are close enough to hear His heart beat... to see they way He looks at us... His eyes so full of love and compassion...
So this afternoon, when my darling girls will have left... I am just going to open my arms and invite reality and all it has for me to bring me where I need to be .... on my knees.... desperately longing for the closeness with my Saviour.... I am not going to try and hide from the pain, or the loneliness, I, by His strength will face the loneliness and the heartbreak...
And once again I will be able to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my eternity with my Lord is in full swing...
So my most wonderful friends... do not worry about me, He has my back... He is going to spend Christmas day with me, because I am His child and He promised to be there for me forever.... AMEN
"Not supposed to be" times of loneliness and sadness... so this afternoon my daughters plus one boyfriend are going to celebrate away from me with their Dad and his new partner... maybe a little awkward for them ( it is getting easier as the time goes by), sad for me, but okay....
I remember last year on the 24th... the girls meeting with him for lunch... 6 days after... leaving me alone for the first time ... numb then still... in such shock that I didn't feel the full impact of what this all meant.
Isn't God so good?? Making us in such a way that there is a self defense mechanism that shields us... when things are just too fresh to even comprehend them...
Today I am choosing to face the feelings that are going to come this afternoon .. I am choosing to face them by myself because I know that it is important to face reality and pain.. it is important to cry, it is important for me to feel utterly alone and helpless.... it is necessary for me to process these feelings and to realize again that my hope is not in people, even such important people as my own children and family, but in Him, and only Him. I have always been like this, listening to sad music when sad , crying my heart out until I was better.. I could never keep my feelings in... I know, that's why some people, those that have no idea what to do with all the suppressed feelings of their lives , are actually threatened by me and have to get away... I am who God has made me and I am willingly going to the hard places, face them, allow them to bring me to my knees... because I know that this is the best place for me to be... on my knees...
Like the song from Jaci Velasque
There are days
when I feel
The best of me
is ready to begin
Then there's the days
when I feel
I'm letting go
and soaring on the wind
'Cause I've learned in laughter or in pain
How to survive!
I get on my knees!There I am before the Love
That changes me
See I don't know how
But there's power
When I'm on my knees
I can be
in a crowd
Or by myself
and almost anywhere
When I feel
there's a need
To talk with God
He is Emmanuel
When I close my eyes,
no darkness there
There's only light!
I get on my knees....
Bob Carlisle in " on my knees" puts it like this:
...so I can stand tall
on my knees I can see forever
on my knees I can face it all
I feel like I can climb a mountain
cause on my knees the world's
a little smaller
and I stand taller
on my knees...
As we acknowledge our brokenness and need for a Saviour , as we kneel before Him knowing we have NOTHING to give, nothing to offer, no means to deal with our beaten up and shattered hearts... in desperate need of Him... His presence, His healing, His touch , His love.... that's when we receive Him once again and His peace surrounds us like a thick layer of cotton balls... and warmth.... that's when we are close enough to hear His heart beat... to see they way He looks at us... His eyes so full of love and compassion...
So this afternoon, when my darling girls will have left... I am just going to open my arms and invite reality and all it has for me to bring me where I need to be .... on my knees.... desperately longing for the closeness with my Saviour.... I am not going to try and hide from the pain, or the loneliness, I, by His strength will face the loneliness and the heartbreak...
And once again I will be able to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my eternity with my Lord is in full swing...
So my most wonderful friends... do not worry about me, He has my back... He is going to spend Christmas day with me, because I am His child and He promised to be there for me forever.... AMEN
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