for my faithful friends, that have been lifting my mother up in prayer..here some facts about another extremely stressful day for my mother...
even more confused this morning, not able to finish any sentence / thought... a fever... overly sensitive to any touch... screaming because of the pain...x-rays and a CT scan to find out the source of the infection inconclusive.. moved to the ICU at 12:30pm ... blood tests reveal total dehydration.. a new IV and catheter for the bladder put in ( my mother had pulled those out 2 nights ago...) 5 hours later she is talking to us and eating her dinner... finishing her 1/2 portion for the first time... the change is once again mind boggling...
friends praying... God answering... medicine doing it's job... Praise be to God...
sitting with my mother this evening, reading to her... praying with her and just cuddling up to her for a while, she fell asleep ... groaning and calling out " My God, my God" again and again.... sounding tormented still....
and there I was, quiet around me, just the occasional beeping of some machine ....
something became very clear to me.... when my mother started to realize what was going on with her she became more and more grumpy... understandable... she became more angry and rude to the nurses that were there to help her... she didn't want to listen to anything, didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't want to take her medicine etc.... so it dawned on me..... she never has learned to accept suffering.... don't get me wrong, she has suffered... she has suffered a lot....never knew how to deal with it but to fight it... getting more and more bitter and more and more aggressive... again, makes sense... without Jesus in your life you definitely feel you need to control your destiny... and so you fight for your rights and you will never accept things....
as followers of Christ we know about the sufferings our Lord went through to save us from our sins, we also know that he said we should not be surprised that in this world we would have troubles... in Romans 5 we read:
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.we are called to accept suffering, to persevere and to never lose hope.... as I prayed with and then later, when she was sleeping, for her that was my prayer... that she too would accept her sufferings and persevere, that the Lord would indeed open her eyes and through His Holy Spirit give her the hope that never disappoints...
another fav verse from Romans...
may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
saying Good bye to my mom was hard... it is time for me to go home, no question about that.... this day has shown us though that this is still a very fragile situation....so it is hard... as I was sitting with her tonite and she was so very loving and tender I just soaked it all in... so thankful for the privilege of spending that much time with her during this very difficult time ... I am leaving her in the capable hands of my Father in Heaven... the Drs and Nurses here, and my brother's caring heart...
