He does not waste a minute of my day, around every corner is another amazing detail that He so obviously is working out.
We all know that He has a plan, I believed it in my head, I knew it, I even knew it in my heart, but I still was scared. Didn't quite trust Him...but 9 months after the final separation and a year after finding out about the affair I am now convinced without a doubt, that indeed, the plans He has are marvelous...
I am at a place where I accept pain as something that is just there, something that makes me focus on how wonderful it is that He is there, walking through it with me.
What a blessing that is. And in the meantime, while accepting this as a fact, He is leading me from one amazing detail to the next, opening my eyes every moment to just how beyond anything imaginable His plan really is, how big, how many people will be involved, how many will be blessed. I am humbled that He has groomed me all my life for such a time as this...when relying on Him like never before I am freed from anything that has had me bound and kept me from serving Him wholeheartedly.
Feelings of unworthiness, insecurities, fear of loneliness... He has been dealing with all of these. And I am more aware than ever that I am His child, chosen to follow and love Him for eternity.
I do not need anyone else to give me significance, he takes care of all of this.
I never thought I could come to a place where I could say that if this is all ( and I even feel bad saying this because it is so amazing) my life will be, serving Him in whatever way He has for me, that is MORE than enough for me... so I am putting it out there.... as much as I do have dreams, dreams to for once being able to portray the amazing relationship between Jesus and His bride, the church, through a godly marriage, complementing one another and serving together, reflecting God's image to the world, I am no longer hung up on this..... He has been working in my heart and for the first time in my life I am feeling whole.... it blows me away.
This is something I thought I would never know.... so I thank you my wonderful Saviour and friend, you are the Lover of my Soul and you have restored me.
I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
