Tuesday, August 17, 2010

...standing on shifting sand...

Foolish heart... looks like we are here again......so wanting to be done with the pain and hurt, not giving You time to heal me from the inside out..
Feeding off the energy from interacting with Your people, serving You together, flying high.. loving You and the closeness we have... carried away by the tide of exhilaration..
just to fall..when listening to the foolish heart, rather than You..
You see the Real me.. fragile and broken from within...oh to hide in Your loving embrace for however long it takes to be whole again....eternally....instead I am impatiently walking away chasing after futile dreams and hopes..bombarded by the world and it’s enticing possibilities.
shifting sand.. I cannot survive standing on it.... You made me that way, fragile and needing you beyond comprehension..
the mess I made out of my existence, you love me the same, you are not focusing on my weaknesses. my imperfections.. you fill me, I CANNOT live without you for even a day.
The little girl passionately drinking in the stories of Moses, and Noah..reading the Children’s Bible again and again... so many questions, so much to understand, to figure out... and then there you were...the Answer, the Beginning and the End..All I ever NEED..
so then, why... why my precious Jesus, why am I drifting off, if only in my dreams, only to crawl back, once more knowing even more that I need you, not just a little bit a day... needing to soak You in, breathe You in...
Please just keep me with You...fixing my eyes on You... staying in the connection and close embrace... you carry me... the real me, the fragile me... loving you with all I have...
Hold me close... I love just seeing your footprints in the sand....