living in this world can sometimes be a bit overwhelming.... one thing after another... many layers of difficulties... different relational levels... hang ups and issues... baggage and history...
And then... there is new hope... things never imagined... but still truly happening... a hurt, beaten up heart... slowly daring to inch out of it's shell...... could it be for me? Could there really be deepest understanding and connecting.... really?
throughout my Christian walk I was living the suffering... coming to the place where I met my Comforter, where I learned to rely on Him, for healing and just the amount of strength I needed to make it through another day... I also learned that even though there is constant difficulty, there can be joy walking along the path He has for me...my heart flooded with gratitude and love for Him, my Redeemer... His love and grace... unmerited favour... realizing that He has my holiness in mind when He allows the suffering... and that my happiness is just not that important... Accepting that was good but it led to some misconception... because of that I kind of had a hard time picking up on that He is good, truly good all the time... and that this not only means He will always pick me up when the stuff He allows to flow through His loving fingers hits me full forth and knocks me off my feet..... it actually means not only the blessings I have gotten to appreciate... the beauty that comes out of the turmoil.... no, it actually means so much more than that.... obedience has an amazing reward... He told me so today... I distinctly heard Him.... and the great thing about it is, even though today was a rather challenging day so far... I have gotten those glimpses of receiving the desire of my heart and soul..... so like I said... inching out of the shell ... cautiously... my heart soars.... days challenging... yes, difficulties and issues and baggage and history.... yes... but by my side, always, the bestest friend anyone can have.. and as I have been, by His strength walking as closely to Him and in obedience to Him as I could.... I get those glimpses... and they are blowing my mind away... and my soul is singing.... my heart is rejoicing.... because the reward... the reward beats it all........ Hallelujah!!! Praise Him now and forever more....
