in the pit, an old cistern, let down by a rope, or maybe with a ladder...
left alone there for the night.
Jesus.
He knew what was going to happen.
all man.
all God.
He could have freed Himself, easily.
He could have changed it all.
but... for the joy set before Him He decided to stay.
instead he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
He did that for me.
a week ago,
I too was in that place
so humbling, to be in the exact same spot where God, the Son surrendered Himself to go ahead and pay the price for my reconciliation to the Father.
challenged to consider what I needed to surrender it didn't take long for me to come up with it.
I knew it before. I have been struggling with this for a long time.
it just has been highlighted once again in the last few months.
the need to protect my children.
it's as "easy" as that.
all I have ever known, seen in my life has been the mother trying to protect the children from the cruel and heartless treatment by the father.
my mother was still trying to do just that right before she died.
sad, considering that the "child" she was trying to protect was 51 at the time.
what seemed necessary when we were small definitely was out of place and rather detrimental even for that grown child later.
as a mother I too felt that need. I think as much as I learned as a follower of Christ that I needed to trust the Lord for them rather than trying to defend them all the time, I struggled.
truth is most of the conflict between my Ex-husband and I was about the children.
I learned to not get involved, not get in the middle as they got older, that my intervention actually made things harder for them...
once divorced I could only watch from afar and pray, and if needed help to put the broken pieces back together. I prayed a lot.
sadly lately I have been feeling a little more protective once again.
never expected a scenario like this, I guess it is just another consequence of broken families.
God is bigger than this and I just didn't want to stand in His way anymore.
so I surrendered.
I don't know about Jesus, I would assume that surrendering once was enough for Him.... after all, He is God and I am not.
My prayer is I won't pick it up anymore.
But rather leave it in God's capable hands.
when He gave Himself up for those the Father had given Him He did so in obedience to the Father.
when I give up my need to protect my child I do so trusting Him to love her more than I.
I trust that His plans are indeed to prosper, not to harm.
that all He allows or orchestrates is for His glory and for our good.
He is GOOD. All the time!
Thank you Jesus for what you have done for us.
