It happens all the time, in 2009 38 % of marriages in Canada were divorced before their 30th Wedding anniversary...so it shouldn't be such a big deal, right? But it is... it is because it is just not what God had in mind when He created marriage...
The man said,
"This is now bone of my bonesand flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,
for she was taken out of man."
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. ( Genesis 2: 23+24)
Another scripture:
Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty.
So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. ( Malachi 2: 13+16)
God hates divorce, His heart breaks when we separate something the He has joined together...
it breaks mine as well, after all , this is one of my favorite songs:
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to Eternity ( Hosanna, by Hillsong)
It breaks our hearts for what it does to families, the ripple effect it has...
The pain is so excruciating because what became one is ripped into two halves rather than neatly taken apart to its original two people... the wounds are gaping and deep... the grief that follows is substantial and only Jesus can heal it... like someone at my DivorceCare support group said: The damage is so bad, it takes the manufacturer to fix it... I liked that a lot :)
Another reason the pain is so deep is that there are so many losses... for me some of them are:
loss of my husband, loss of my dreams, loss of our future, loss of our regular time together.... vacations, holidays, routines... loss of security, loss of someone who cared, who would hug when things got bad...
... my daughter mentioned "loss of a tree house" as one of the things she lost...
All those losses need to be grieved.. and grieving needs to be done or we are not healthy enough to live life well.... So, as much as I would like to be fully healed, and I feel like I am a lot of the time now, I am far from being done grieving these losses..... I have no problem with crying... so I did some today... and I know it will not be the last time......
