... under the cloud of sin and wrong choices....

..to live in this world..in the mug... in the middle of the heartbreak, the lies, the lack of morals and loyalty...the selfish choices and the total disregard of others... the confusion over what is right and what is wrong, the injustices, the devastation... it is so black... it is so overwhelming, so painful, so unfair...so hopeless and so exhausting...

To be called out of this darkness into the light... it is amazing. To be sucked back into it at times is unfortunate.

I am "rememorizing" 1 Peter 1 right now... and there it says... Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that will never perish spoil or fade kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed  in the last time.
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to SUFFER  GRIEF in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold which perishes even though refined by fire - is proven to be genuine and may result in praise , glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed....

May have had to suffer???????????? just today a big wave pulled me under... took my breath away and had me realize AGAIN how horrible sin's consequences are ( and that I have to live "in" those consequences, even if I didn't commit the sin)... May have had to suffer???.... maybe it should go like that:  you ARE and always to a certain extent WILL BE suffering......that is depressing ... hopeless, really, but then... so that your faith may be proven GENUINE and will result in GLORY , HONOR and PRAISE for Jesus..

Hmmm. Right now, right now I do not like this one bit, I have a cold and like I said was hit with a baseball bat over the head with the "facts" of my life....so I AM fed up and very sad... the truth of the memorized scripture is still that: TRUTH  and He, the Truth, the Way and the Life is the one that called me out of the darkness into His marvelous light... right now, because of the black cloud, I might not see it, but that doesn't mean it is not there...

Just this morning, before all this happened, I was thinking how I just still have such a hard time that he could have just walked away from the commitment and US... dismissed us as worthless...

I need to focus on the fact that this does not mean we ARE worthless, it really only means that one person made a very wrong choice... and we have to live with the consequences... bummer...

If it results in GLORY PRAISE and HONOR I guess I am okay with it... anything for Him...the one that gives me my worth... hmmmmm, sucky night...  Pray for us....