...giving up?

... the question is... when you are looked upon as a mature Christian, so many are so in awe about how wonderfully you are dealing with all the disaster curve balls life has thrown you, how close you are to the Lord and how strong your faith is... can you let on how sick and tired you are of having to be just this person sometimes?
When everything comes crushing down on you AGAIN... when your daughter called her dad, the one that gave her the example of what to do when the going gets tough which would be to walk away... when she calls him and asks him to pick her up because she can't stand it in your house anymore because since all this happened you only care about yourself and you are basically the worst mother there is?
When the day before you had to listen to that new life the man that promised to stay with you until death do us part, is living with his new love AND your children which leaves you not only without a man who loves you but ALL ALONE...
When all you have been doing for the last year is being on your knees and trying so hard to hold on and not loose it... when you are as lonely as can be and it all is so unfair... when you are not even allowed to engage in a new relationship because you are a Christian and even though you had no say in all of this you now again have to be the one that does things right......
Can you voice those feelings even though you know that God is faithful and that being obedient keeps you under the umbrella of protection of the all loving and all knowing God you love so dearly and passionately.... even though you know that all you have to do is run to Him and find all you need?
Can you admit that not always do you act upon that knowledge that you have ingrained in your heart, soul and mind...that sometimes you need to vent and just want to run away yourself... stop doing what is right and go for what your heart longs for... the acceptance and love of a man... flesh and blood... someone to stand by you when like right now all is falling apart and running away  is so enticing..someone who cares about YOU.... because it seems no one does... no one. 
Can you tell people that... or should you figure things out and then come forward and praise God for His faithfulness and stay silent about your faithlessness.... well, I am feeling like I want to just walk away... faithless and ungrateful...selfish and needy...looking for what I need.. not what is right..
The truth is I won't, because thanks to my Lord and Saviour I know better, He has made it clear to me that as much as my human nature inside of me screams to QUIT doing what is right, this would be the worst thing I could do.
He gives me the ability to keep on keeping on when everything in me wants to give up....
Thanks to the Lord I am not really selfish, I am not really just going to go for what feels right at the moment... thanks to only Him and His grace was I able to hug my daughter and tell her how much I love her before she left.... thanks to only Him and His grace will I go on with my life and continue to try to do what is right... thanks to Him alone will I stay under the umbrella of His authority and will obey Him cheerfully....
But right now ... my question is, can I let you know, that I am sick and tired of having to be the one that continues to do what is right...

....He was there....

..there once was a girl....she didn't get the attention of her Dad.. he was far too busy to take the time to know her.. she was growing up ... she was longing for love and affection.
there was a man. He was a friend of the family. he was a frequent guest at the home. even when the parents were not there. He was a lot older than her, more than double her age.
He had a problem, but she did not know about that. She was naive and young. She was vulnerable. so in time, this man started to show interest and affection to the young girl.. she was flattered... he lured her to his place, he did things that scared her. he pressured her and violated her.  He made her feel guilty by telling her she was the only one that could help him overcome his problem. she feared for her innocence and her life.
But then, she got away. she told someone and she was safe from the man.
Looking back she knows that even then, when she didn't know about Him, He was there protecting her from the ultimate  harm that could have been inflicted on her.
He was keeping her safe. He healed her. the scars remain. 
as He was there and protected her from destruction, He still allowed her to be hurt .. today she can understand and help those that are dealing with similar things...bring the comfort she has found in Him to them. this is how He works. this is how much He cares. this is how He loves all that have been given to Him by the Father.
Come and find refuge in the shelter of His wings...you are not alone....

..... forever cherish....

This morning,
seeking Him where He can be found...
in His precious Word, my precious Jesus..
this is what my soul sings.... ( Thank you Steve Bell)


Deep calls to deep
And my soul finds no resting place but Him
He is my God
The yearning of my soul His touch can still
And each rare moment
I felt His presence
I shall remember
And forever cherish


Deep calls to deep
For he created me to be His own
He understands
The joy and pain of life He too has known
And each rare moment
I felt His presence
I shall remember
And forever cherish


Deep calls to deep
And at His feast I am a welcomed guest
He gives me food
The hunger of my soul is laid to rest
And each rare moment
I felt His presence
I shall remember
And forever cherish


AS I am resting in the shadow of His wings, 
as His unfailing love fills my heart this morning..
I shall remember and forever cherish. AMEN

...a prayer at your feet.....

Lord... tonite, I laid my future down....
I laid my dreams down.... 
I laid my wishes down....
my plans, I laid them down at your feet... 
because you are all I need.
I laid my mistakes down.... 
my own ideas... 
I was running again, running ahead of you... 
I laid my foolish heart down...
I want to dwell at your feet and never leave....
WHY do I always make the same mistakes...
 follow my foolish heart... 
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it.
How come I fall for it ...
Hold me tight... Hold me and never let me go..
You are all I need... YOU ARE ALL I NEED!

Praise you in the storm.....

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down 
and wiped our tears away, 
stepped in and saved the day. 
But once again, I say amen 
and it's still raining 
as the thunder rolls 
I barely hear You whisper through the rain, 
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls 
I raise my hands and praise 
the God who gives and takes away. 


And I'll praise you in this storm 
and I will lift my hands 
for You are who You are 
no matter where I am 
and every tear I've cried 
You hold in your hand 
You never left my side 
and though my heart is torn 
I will praise You in this storm 


I remember when I stumbled in the wind 
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again 
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on 
if I can't find You 
and as the thunder rolls 
I barely hear You whisper through the rain 
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls 
I raise my hands and praise 
the God who gives and takes away



And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

And even if the storm will never end here... I will praise you forevermore, because I love you with all my soul, heart and mind....

Casting Crowns - Slow Fade

.... it is not good...

 ... The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.".......
Whenever I have read this before or heard any sermon about it it was always in regards to what the roles in a marriage are...
I learned that well and I am blessed by the way a woman is supposed to be the helpmate for her husband and how she complements, makes whole the man in her life. Together we reflect the image of God..


Lately, being alone, this has spoken to me in a much different way...
It is not good for man to be alone... it is not good for woman to be alone... it is not good for mother to be alone to bring up her child and deal with all that can mean at different times... being alone in that way does not necessarily mean we are not in a marriage... actually  being alone and left with the whole responsibility of bringing up a child while in a marriage is even more sad......


It is not good to be alone.... we never are, even if there is no spouse or companion, we know that Jesus always is right there with us...


So "alone" as I am, I prayed, and I found the support I needed, the sounding board I needed, the strength I needed and for sure the wisdom I needed.. to meet the needs my little one had today.


I still would rather not be alone, because if God said it and He did something about it right away, there has to be a reason for that... it is not good for man to be alone... I will make a helper suitable for him...


To go to the Lord  together and find the strength, wisdom and support, now that would be heaven on earth, don't you think....


But I am going to wait on Him, because He alone knows when the fullness of time will come...when it will be time for me to not be alone anymore and who I am going to be "not alone anymore" with.... Hallelujah...praise the Lord, oh my soul...who loves me with an unfailing love that is new every morning...

....claiming the favor....

..... In the time of my favor I heard you, 
      

and in the day of salvation I helped you."

 I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, 

now is the day of salvation.

( 2 Cor 6:2 )

During the Michael W. Smith and friends Cruise this July I was blessed to hear a beautiful couple speak every morning at the Sunrise Devotions from 7-8 am... ( it was soooooo worth it to get up early every morning)

Beverley and John Sheasby were instrumental in what my Daddy had planned for me to finally understand... that I indeed am a DEARLY BELOVED and CHERISHED child of the Father... That He has already given me the inheritance that is mine in Christ Jesus and that I only need to live in that truth...am allowed to live in that truth.. without worrying if I am doing well enough following Him...

John is the Theologian, and hearing him explain the scriptures was a treat... his wife though, Beverley, I will never forget... one morning she talked about us being God's favorites and how we should be walking in God's favor every day...

Since then this is my prayer every morning, that I would walk in God's favor....this has been my encouragement to myself and many others since then, whenever we are having trouble trusting, or waiting..

The moment we are being saved is the moment we are being declared co-heirs with Christ... and like the Prodigal son upon his return was clothed in best robe, a ring was put on his finger and sandals on his feet, so is our reception that glorious moment of our salvation...

The Prodigal son's father had the servants bring the fattened calf and kill it. Then they had a feast and celebrated. The Father said: "For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

When we were still dead in our transgressions, Christ died for our sins...not only has He reconciled us with God the Father but in that instance we have received our inheritance.. His favor and blessing is ours, always.... we are not the friend outside the door that knocks in the middle of the night to borrow some bread... we are the children in bed with our loving Father and only have to tuck on His sleeve and let Him know we are hungry...

Oh Daddy... what marvelous gift, your grace, your mercy and most of all your love and acceptance and your favor... at all times...for us to receive and generously share with the world in darkness..

Thank you Lord for the privilege of serving you now and forevermore.

...Wait, my child.....

You whisper..

You want my attention

My undivided attention...

focus..

no distractions..

What were You saying??

"Wait"

Wait?

What do you mean?

"Wait"

But why??
"Wait"

But you don't understand..

"Wait"

But I need to know...

Why aren't You telling me..

"Just wait"

But I can't...

"With Me all things are possible"

But Why... why can't You just tell me?

"Trust Me"

" Don't settle for second best.."

"I have something amazing planned for you"

But Lord... How?

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High 

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty."

But....

" I Satisfy you in the morning with my unfailing love, 

that you may sing for joy and be glad all your days."

"Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you"

But Lord... I am lonely..

"For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is His name— 

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth."

You are? 

" I am.. and I delight over you with singing"

"I love you with an everlasting love my child"

Thank You, Lord... 

I praise you

 And I will wait on you..

and trust You forever more.

Help is on the way...my Daddy ministering to my heart...

...Hindsight...Take Three.........

.......going on  a trip together as planned that August, I was excited, I was so full of love for him, God had taken down my defenses, my walls, the ones I had erected to be safe from the constant criticism, lack of love and understanding for me and my children. He had shown me that I only needed Him, to be obedient to Him and He was going to look out for me, there was no need for me to do this by myself and in the process sin by not loving my husband the way God wanted me to...

Now he on the other hand, wasn’t telling me yet, but was planning to let me know he didn’t love me anymore...he was not going to be honest and tell me that he was involved with another woman, a woman who was very close to my heart, who I always only loved and supported, felt like a big sister to and sometimes even had motherly feelings for.

She had been having a hard time with a cheating husband and I in my stupidity invited her to come and stay with us for a few weeks that summer... oh the ignorance.....

I knew that her and my husband had been communicating, I had found that out... but somehow I still trusted both of them...maybe I was just in denial..

She came, he told me he didn’t love me anymore when I asked why he, now that the guest room was needed otherwise, wouldn’t move back into the bedroom with me...

I lost it... I was devastated....I loved him more than ever before and he just cold heartedly tossed me aside..

And all along she was there.....looking back it makes me sick thinking about what they were doing...two people that for different reasons where the closest people to me... the betrayal still hurts today...forgiveness is accepting to live with the consequences of the other person’s sin... I did that... the consequences are a broken and torn to pieces family and a heart that has experienced such deceit and betrayal that it still makes tears well up in my eyes and my heart as I am writing this.

I know that my loving Father knew what was happening, that He was there with me and that I was even then protected by Him...otherwise I am not sure I would have survived it..

But I wouldn’t give up, not knowing that there was someone else, I was willing to give him time to see for himself that this change in me was for real, that I was really able to just love and respect no matter what...

I was afraid what would happen, didn’t want to loose my husband , the man that I loved like never before...I could have been anxious...

But God was sustaining me.. He spoke to me through another song of MWS...He sees your tears... He fights your fears... Hold on, Help is on the way.... He said He’d never leave you or forsake you........(my Father working through the details)...Hold on..Help is on the way...just reach out and take His hand....

.......to be continued....

...standing on shifting sand...

Foolish heart... looks like we are here again......so wanting to be done with the pain and hurt, not giving You time to heal me from the inside out..

Feeding off the energy from interacting with Your people, serving You together, flying high.. loving You and the closeness we have... carried away by the tide of exhilaration..

just to fall..when listening to the foolish heart, rather than You..

You see the Real me.. fragile and broken from within...oh to hide in Your loving embrace for however long it takes to be whole again....eternally....instead I am impatiently walking away chasing after futile dreams and hopes..bombarded by the world and it’s enticing possibilities.

shifting sand.. I cannot survive standing on it.... You made me that way, fragile and needing you beyond comprehension..

the mess I made out of my existence, you love me the same, you are not focusing on my weaknesses. my imperfections.. you fill me, I CANNOT live without you for even a day.

The little girl passionately drinking in the stories of Moses, and Noah..reading the Children’s Bible again and again... so many questions, so much to understand, to figure out... and then there you were...the Answer, the Beginning and the End..All I ever NEED..

so then, why... why my precious Jesus, why am I drifting off, if only in my dreams, only to crawl back, once more knowing even more that I need you, not just a little bit a day... needing to soak You in, breathe You in...

Please just keep me with You...fixing my eyes on You... staying in the connection and close embrace... you carry me... the real me, the fragile me... loving you with all I have...

Hold me close... I love just seeing your footprints in the sand.... 

...a cup..filled to overflowing..

... what is it , that makes us fall back into the one huge lie that we have recognized so many times before, why is it that we are thrown by it, as soon as the slightest little rejection comes our way????
If I was the Father, it would frustrate me to an extent I would probably loose hope... ( aren't you glad I am not He?? ;) 
He continues to communicate His unfailing love, 24 / 7 and we love it, we drink it in, we bask in it... only to feel unloved and unworthy because some fallen, sinful person is just that.... a person, not able to love or even just relate in this way...
Why are we even out there looking for that???? We have it here, right here in our relationship with the Lord.. His perfect love, never letting us down, His attention, His acceptance.... all we could ever ask for...
He fills my heart with His love whenever I draw close to Him... then from there I can go out and I have already been satisfied... then I can love those around me, out of the abundance of love HE has for me...never even paying attention how much of this love is coming my way from the people in my life. ... it is so easy then to be humble and consider others more important than ourselves.... oh what a wonderful thing.
 Looking beyond our own lives and getting a glimpse of the bigger picture, the beautiful tapestry that God is weaving...and get that, be a part of it...
This again is proof of the Father's unending love for us, that He let's us have a part in something He could accomplish very well by Himself... 
I am going to have my cup filled to overflowing by Him, who is the author and perfecter of my life... and then I will follow Him wherever He will lead me.. generously sharing Him with those around me.. EXCITING!!!!!!!!!

...wailing into dancing.....

.. prayers quieting my heart...excitement rising as I am coming closer to the place that God has so clearly called me to...unknown territory, new people...what will it be... will I be able to be all I need to be...
He is whispering in my ear.. Trust me, my child... I have prepared you for this for a very long time...
Baby clothes, friendly faces.. sorting, folding.. I know this.. how fun.. and then there she came... my first client... helping her find things for the baby she is is expecting, a little girl.... very familiar indeed.
Later taking down all her information and setting up our first session together, exhilarating.
My heart is  full of love and compassion... overflowing. And it dawns on me.. this is where we are supposed to be... outside the safe bubble of "Church-ianity".... out, where people are dealing with horrific circumstances... looking for answers and help, and love and compassion.. that's why we are here, that's why I am there, or wherever God will direct me to. To share His love with one person at a time struggling to figure things out, desperate for some light to show them the way...
And then it is  up to Him to turn their wailing into dancing... as He continues to do for me..because He keeps His promises.... my beloved Saviour... I am dancing!


You turned my wailing into dancing;
       you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

 that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. 

       O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

...Will you come with me......

It is sticky and hot outside... 2 lunches made, Kids sent off to work, doggies taken care of...and now... some new place in my life is calling for me...it fills me with joy but also apprehension and insecurity..

Looking back I can see the desert I have been walking through for so long, never alone, but still,  dry, barren and lacking.... looking ahead I see... my Father holding out His hand encouraging me to come along with Him... and this is when I know for sure that this is true:

Yet this I call to mind 

       and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, 

       for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; 

       great is your faithfulness.

 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; 

       therefore I will wait for him."

 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, 

       to the one who seeks him;

 it is good to wait quietly 

       for the salvation of the LORD.

Thank you Lord for reminding me.... 

...Hindsight...Take Two.........

...remember, it is May 2009... during the MWS concert...the song "Deep in love with You"...I can't resist the tenderness of You... My Father in Heaven... tenderness?? I thought Holiness, Sovereignty, Power...Tenderness.. really? My heart it beats for you...you're the Lover of my soul.....

They came back... our pastor friends... out for Dinner my friend challenged both my husband and me, saying that she felt that God was saying to us if we both repented from our pride and stopped sinning against each other we could have a great marriage...

Hmmmm, I walked away not quite understanding where there was pride in me in my relationship with my husband.. we got together, just her and me and tried to figure out what that could mean... I did want to figure this out, I didn't want to contribute to the miserable battle field our marriage was.
After a long conversation I went home with the "assignment" to pray through 1 Cor 13 and ask God to show me where I was not loving my husband the way I should....

I didn't do it... not until July, after coming home from a cottage vacation that was the most miserable one yet.....

But when I finally did...what surprise and devastation... oh how I had failed...patient? no, kind? seldom , easily angered? for sure, always trusts? I couldn't.... As my Father TENDERLY convicted me of my sin I broke down and repented...as I did, He was faithful and changed my heart right there and then, as I saw myself in the light I was able to see my husband with God's eyes...not his shortcomings and failures, but rather his potential and his efforts and his good will... I was even more amazed at the love my Father had for me, over all those years, as I was hurt by my husband, I would run to Him and even though He was always aware what my part in this was He never rebuked me but lovingly picked me up and gave me the strength and joy I needed to be able to go on...no " you better first straighten up yourself, young lady, then I will give you what you need"....not at all, rather.."I love you and I am giving you all you need, I also will show you what you are doing wrong only when the time is right"...... what grace, what love... my heart was full to overflowing with gratitude.. and hope, hope to finally have found the key to make this relationship work....

What I didn't know was that at the same time God was changing my heart around, my husband was "consuming" the relationship he had been hiding from me for over a year...to be continued...

.... till death do us part...

Today was a hard day.. this has been a very hard week...been at the house every day, sorting, packing, cleaning... and this afternoon spending time with some pretty special friends around the pool.... for the last time.

Had my first break down this morning.. texted some friends asked them to pray.. called a friend... she came and prayed with me..helped until everyone left and he left shortly after... that was it, the end...walking away from me, once again. Abandoning me, again, seeing my tears, again, but not caring enough to stay..again. And still I am not angry or mad, I accept it, but it does not feel very nice..curling up on the floor in my house for the last time, I let my tears flow... no need to try to stop this, it needs to come out.

It will get better, once Monday comes and goes, just spent too much time with the man that promised to love me and cherish me until death do us part in the home that we made together...not good for me. No wonder it feels like something is dead....some part of me.... but again, the promise was, when everything fell we would be held.. when the sacred is torn from my life I will survive, because I know that I am loved......Hope is  born from suffering.....and this hope will never disappoint.. because it is not in a circumstance or a person....it is in the one true God, the one that made the heavens and the earth and who loved us enough to send His son here to save us, save us from eternity without Him...from eternal misery.

If it takes for me to lie on the floor sobbing until I almost throw up so be it...I know that I am desperate for Him and that He is the air I breath...I know that I am blessed to be His... I am deep in love with you, Abba Father, my heart it beats for you, precious Jesus, I'm deep in love with you Lord...

......Hindsight....Take One....

He was there all the time...looking back it is more than obvious...He always is... but through those last 15 months, this latest valley, He has been using some of His people to communicate truth to me in the most wonderful ways...

A week ago or so I made a new playlist on my itunes... I called it MWS and friends... ( I know, I am a groupie... I am okay with it...)

As I put together this playlist I realized that since going to my first MWS concert in May of last year my Daddy has used him and Natalie Grant to bring me comfort, to prepare my heart for what He was going to do... and then... He put me on a boat with exactly those people.. for the Grand Finale... a Master Piece...

Since I have become a Christian, in June 1994 I have loved Michael W Smith's music, I have had several of his CD's, but until last year I had never been to one of his concerts...

It was 6 months after I had found out that my husband was having some kind of an emotional affair with my cousin.. at first I had thought that forgiving him and moving on had taken care of this unfortunate occurrence.... but I was very wrong...

our relationship disintegrated more and more, I became more and more disillusioned and without my main spiritual mentors around ( our pastor and his wife were on sabbatical for 6 months) I was going down a not so nice path...

So when May came around, and I found myself at the MWS concert God revealed Himself to me in an amazing way... He used the song "Deep in love with you" to show me that He indeed cared... as I was worshipping with thousands I all of a sudden had this vision of me lying on the ground, all broken and crumbled up... and God the Father bending down lovingly and picking me up and holding me in His arms saying to me "I know how you are feeling and I care"....... 

This was new to me... especially after being in a marriage where my heart was broken daily for almost 17 years...

I am sure now that this message of love and care was what softened my heart and prepared me for the next step on the path that God had me on.... to be continued

....Held....

Usually when I start writing, I kind of know where I am going...tonite, I just felt I had to write, I am hoping it will make sense in the end.
Today was the big move... the "old" house, or should I call it "matrimonial home" is now empty...tomorrow we will sign the papers for the sale at the lawyers and the closing is on Monday...
Many have asked me how I was feeling, and was it hard...well, today was another manifestation of what happened 7 months and 20 days ago...the end of our family, our marriage.....so in a way, because I / we have been living this for this time, it was not that hard... and then again it was... because today it just hit me in the face once more, the finality of it....
The good part is that we, as we were both packing and sorting and getting rid of stuff over the last few days were able to relate as we have the last few months, as friends, no negative feelings but a new found friendship.....

I realized this morning that the quality of the relationship that we have now has to do with the fact that there are no longer any big expectations involved that could be disappointed... that's the key...
Anyways, long story short, another chapter of this, the story of the bigger part of my adult life has been written... very soon, the book will be finished...
It is bitter sweet..... bitter, because it just not meant to be that way, sweet because of the good that my Daddy is bringing out of it..... learning to live with these two thing constantly going on at the same time has been challenging and rewarding..
A little story about today... as we were sitting in our basement on the couch for the last time this morning a question I asked and the answer made me all of a sudden very emotional / sad... and I had to leave to not loose it... as I was driving to Goodwill to drop off some stuff I was listening to my fav song from Natalie Grant and I was crying bitterly.... but like it has already become a habit... I snuggled up on my Daddy's chest for a moment right where the head fits so wonderfully in... and I felt so loved and so secure, like never before in my life... I got it together after that and the rest of the day went by uneventful
Tonight my girls plus their boyfriends went to see a musical with their Dad and his girlfriend... and surprisingly I am totally fine with that... so... once again, God is so good,.... He loves us... isn't that just so amazing.....

..Quality Time...JOY abundantly!!!!!

Just a thought this morning , before going to church expectantly... rushing to the place where my brothers and sisters are...coming together to express to everyone around us the worth our Daddy, our Brother and the Counselor have in our lives...
As I just spent extended time in the embrace of my Father, listening to HIS voice, as I was reading in His word, I once again realized that we have gotten it all wrong... ( our picture of who the Father is) 
When Jesus came , He came to reveal to us the Father... when we read the 4 accounts of the gospel, the "Marvelous" news... -the Good News about WHO our Father really is - we can see such a total different view of the Father as Jesus accepts the unacceptable...
 As He accepts us unconditionally, the power of His love is what transforms us, His presence, His concern and compassion... as the peace of this ultimate acceptance envelopes our hearts He makes us more like Him...it is not a set of rules, perfectionism, our failure and the following condemnation and rejection.
Coming to Him, spending time with Him in this new found intimacy is allowing me to understand and feel more and more the joy He experiences when I do come... the exciting and marvelous plans He has made for us, to enjoy together... I am going to go to church today to together with my fellow believers praise Him for the LOVE, that ACCEPTANCE and the JOY HE continues to pour out into our lives....


Let the Celebration begin!!!!!!!!