.... hardened hearts :(

... Thank the Lord for my sanctuary...wanna know what my sanctuary is?
My bedroom.. I LOVE my bed, this seems to be the only place where I can retreat to, where I can be safe, even in my own house.
I didn't want this. I didn't want to have another meeting. Because I knew it wouldn't work.
Because what is really happening is not even on this level, it is a spiritual battle.
There is bitterness and total disregard of feelings. There is selfishness that knows no boundaries.
There is betrayal and greed. Really, that's what it comes down to. Greed.
What they do not see is this is NOT what it is all about.
I thank God that He has allowed me 16 years ago to see the light, that He took the blinders off and let these ears grow on my heart. That I am not concerned with material things to the extent everyone else around me is. That He has shown me that we need to be proactive against bitterness and forgive... but that we also need to be wise about the boundaries we need to put up. Especially with people that have NO respect for other peoples feelings. (even when it is their own child)
What is that all about? why Lord, why the continued pain, inflicted by those that were in the beginning appointed to be the ones to keep us safe and nurture us.
What will it take for this to end? Total destruction? So sad, so very, very sad.
My heart breaks, again, the loss is tremendous... unbelievable. What if they won't get it?
The outcome will be even worse for them eternally... I do not want that, because, as much as I seem to be the enemy, they are not my enemies.. so I will continue to pray. not even for this situation to be resolved so much but for God to do for them what He has done for me... to take off the blinders and let them see the TRUTH.... to see Him, the One who is the Truth, the Way and the Life...
Because without Him all the striving is in vain. Like my pastor says, You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse..rather then will come the moment of truth, are you a child of the Creator of this world because of what His son Jesus has done or are you not... pretty straightforward... do you believe that you need His saving grace and have you accepted it by faith.... This is all that counts, now and forever more..

So my prayer is : Lord , forgive them., for they do not know what they are doing, forgive them in your grace and call them, break through their stubborn, hardened hearts and make them your own,
so that, even if we cannot be reconciled here, we will be able to spend eternity together..
After all, what else would I wish for...

.....He is in CONTROL!!!!!

.....was reassured this morning in church  -  did I ever say how much I LOVE going to church?
Worshipping Him, I could do that all day long... preaching of the Word.. hearing from Him, speaking to me through a willing servant ( my favourite one ;)... God is soooooo good.. could do that every day.. yes, I know I am a little crazy - so anyways, today's sermon reassured me that I am on the right path:

God's plan is more wonderful than we can ever imagine... I am counting on that....

God's plan is more perfect than we can ever grasp...getting little glimpses of that once in a while.. thank you Lord..

God's plan is more precise than we can ever appreciate... His love and attention to the detail, mind blowing..how much He cares...

God's plan is more loving than we can ever comprehend... sang this amazing song this morning, something about God being like the infinite ocean, the bottomless sea, His affection and love for us unending.. I just opened my hands and relaxed into this, closing my eyes, receiving it.....

God's plan is more complete than we can ever understand.... he alone sees the beginning and the end.. he alone is wise , thankfully He is the one who is sovereign... can you imagine how we would mess it up... oh, my, I know I would.

Bottom line is: His plan is all that because of Who He is...trusting Him, opening myself up to His leading, seeking Him and pursuing Holiness ( like forgiving those who wronged me), accepting the momentary troubles..all this flows out of believing that He is just that: My Sovereign and Loving God...
There is no better place I could ever be , than in the presence of the One who lovingly calls the shots in my life, His plan and His timing are perfect and ultimately better than anything I could ever come up with!!!!!!!
Hallelujah!

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

  Worship the LORD with gladness; 

       come before him with joyful songs.

  Know that the LORD is God. 

       It is he who made us, and we are his   

       we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

 Enter his gates with thanksgiving 

       and his courts with praise; 

       give thanks to him and praise his name.

  For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; 

       his faithfulness continues through all generations.