.. I have been alone for over a year now, after being in a committed relationship for 18 years... since I was in it for the long run I never ever thought I would be faced with the horrible task of dating aka "finding a new man"....now, I know that my God has plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a future and a hope... and I need to trust Him and wait on Him... and I am very willing to do that....
while I am waiting, I can't help but wonder how someone with my track record has a chance to realize when the right man has come my way... I am aware that my last experience has made me a little bit gun shy... I definitely need to be sure that the man I will allow myself to get involved with is a man committed to follow Christ and a man of integrity.
being a woman, wired for relationship... I have had a very hard time with the fact I am single... had to learn that I do not need a man to make me whole, to give me value... took me a while, being surrounded by couples doesn't help... tomorrow is Valentine's Day... this commercially fabricated day for couples... well, I got my daughters a gift and a card each and that's the extent of it for me this year... like last year... stupid day that just highlights the fact that the one that promised to love me didn't mean it after all...
don't need to be reminded of that..
truth is, life for me is busy and full... not really much time for a new relationship, trying to be there for my girls and carrying the full load for our family is quite the task.... so, even as I am thinking about it and on a day like today that was a little depressing with all the talk of "the new life" of this Ex husband of mine... I am fully aware that only if God is the one orchestrating this can it ever work out and be right... so really, I do not even need to worry about this... it is going to happen if and when the Lord has it planned for me.... in the meantime I am quite fulfilled trying to be the mother, sister, daughter, Ex-wife, friend and servant of God that I need to be... and.... and that's the best part... I do have this Lover of my Soul... His name is Jesus... and He is the most faithful companion anyone can ever have..
Jesus, Lover of my soul,
Jesus, I will never let you go
You’ve taken me from the miry clay
You've set my feet upon the Rock, and now I know
I love you, I need you,
Though my world may fall, I’ll never let you go
My Saviour, my closest friend,
I will worship you until the very end
He might not give me roses and chocolates tomorrow... but He for sure will never leave me or forsake me... beats the chocolate I'd say....
