so many thoughts are swirling around in my mind.
trying to make sense of them is one of the reasons I have to write.
yesterday, when worshipping in church, lifting high the name of Jesus,
once again my soul was overwhelmed by this wave of deeply felt joy..
it never fails to make me tear up.. good tears straight from my heart
I am so looking forward to what moments like these are a foretaste of.
then the sermon.
admonished to not walk any longer like someone who doesn't know God.
no longer blinded to truth.
no longer foolishly rejecting God who has made Himself known to everyone through creation
no longer having a hardened heart...
I can, maybe even unknowingly, choose to become hardened again,
callous, if I am walking like those that don't know Him,
don't belong to Him
I will, as I am exposing myself to sensuality and every kind of impurity become greedy for more and more of the self satisfying lusts that are luring me away,
I will become callous and will start accepting evil as normal
oh may it not be so.
because,
how could I ever become callous, numb and unfeeling towards the glory of my Lord??????
I do not want to be less satisfied in Him
I love being satisfied in Him
basking in His love and glory
in the wonderfully illuminating light and warmth of His presence.
that's what overwhelms me
when I listen to a dear friend and her husband sharing the story of their 8 year long journey with the son they finally were able to adopt,
when I get to hear my own child and her husband pray with humble hearts,
when my husband shares with me something only God could have put in His heart...
when I know that God is at work,
the waymaker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness that He, and only He, is!
then my spirit soars with the Holy Spirit in me
in perfect harmony
and my soul gets a glimpse of what hanging out at the mansion with Jesus will one day feel like.
oh how marvelous is He, how beautiful is He to me
drawing near, He is holding me close, I can hear His heart beat
and all my stress, my fear and my anxiety leaves my body..
so I pray.
I ask Him to help me love Him more,
to want to know Him more,
to trust Him more and to always, always, always, always
want to walk with Him, only Him.
what does the former life of mine have to offer?
it's all worthless and foolish,
promising satisfaction, and never coming through..
all lies.
thanking Him for the ability to discern,
through His living and active Word that is sharper than a two edged sword,
to know the intentions and desires of my heart...
a heart that is wicked and deceitful..
I am not trusting it, but rather HIM....
This God,
His way is perfect.
The Word of the Lord proves true.
He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.
so loved.
by Him.
soaring with Him
