.. a bruised reed He will NOT break!!!!!

when I fell last week, flat on both my knees... it hurt... a lot... got up and my knees were still working... you couldn't even see much at first.. the next day the bruise was more visible..
today, a week and a day later my whole lower leg, knee all the way down my shin is green and blue..
my knees still hurt, but not that much anymore..
have been talking about bruises to my heart.. it was exposed, vulnerable.. and it got hurt.. the bruises are not visible.. but they are there...
so today.. when reading and studying my Bible.. this is what I came across:

 Isaiah 42: 1- 4

Behold my servant, whom I uphold,

    my chosen, in whom my soul delights;

I have put my Spirit upon him;

     he will bring forth justice to the nations.

 He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice,

    or make it heard in the street;

  a bruised reed he will not break,

    and a faintly burning wick he will not quench;

     he will faithfully bring forth justice.

 He will not grow faint or be discouraged

    till he has established justice in the earth;

    and the coastlands wait for his law.

the chosen one.. Jesus, has come to establish justice on the earth.. He has come to bind up the broken- hearted.. He has come to save the lost, to comfort the fatherless .. and He will not break a bruised reed..

my Jesus knew that I needed something from Him today.. He blessed me because I ran to Him for encouragement and hope.. He told me, AGAIN, that He knows that right now I feel like a bruised reed.. that AGAIN, I feel sad and alone.. He knew, that I was willing to once again surrender my dreams and hopes to Him.. and He cared enough to AGAIN show me that He understands..

He does not only care like no one ever will, has compassion and is the only one that ever could do anything to help me.. He AGAIN made sure I knew that He KNOWS..

to be known.. my biggest need... to be known means I am worthy to be known.. all about me is worthy to find out.. I am worth His time and attention, I am worth His empathy and His LOVE..

yes, He came to save my soul so that I could be close to Him, know Him and be known by Him..

I might be a bruised reed... but He is looking out for me.. and He definitely will not break me...

REPOST... needed the reminder: God my maker is my husband..

.seeking Him in the morning... dwelling on Him throughout the day, repeating my memory work to myself...I have found again what I had lost over the last few months.. sweet fellowship with my Redeemer... who has given me this scripture that touches me deep in my soul:


“Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
   Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
   and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
 For your Maker is your husband—
   the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
   he is called the God of all the earth.
 The LORD will call you back
   as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
   only to be rejected,” says your God.
Isaiah 54: 4-6


another one.. the one I decided to memorize first.. is this:

 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6: 19-20

when I was married.. even though at times  not (in the end never at all) receiving what my soul really needed, not feeling loved or important... I would have NEVER even entertained the thought of cheating on my husband or getting some of what I needed somewhere else... Jesus, the Lover of my Soul definitely gave me everything I needed to stay true to the covenant between me and my husband..

rejected and tossed aside, replaced even while I was still thinking I was in a marriage, erased from a life together, divorced after 10 months of being separated... all of a sudden it seemed that I was not whole, I needed to be completed again by a man... with todays technical means a whole world of possibilities seemed to be at my fingertips... loneliness and the after math of a basically lifelong rejection by significant males didn't help..
clinging to Jesus for mere survival in the beginning, over time I took my eyes off Him...

so thankful today that He really never lets go of me, so thankful that my guilt and shame and His gentle interference and amazing timing brought me back into the safe place with Him...

knowing how vulnerable I really am I have chosen to memorize these two scriptures... for God, my maker is my husband... as much as I would have never cheated on my husband, even though he was, I will NOT cheat on my God and maker... until the day He releases me to the man He has for me I am going to run to Him in my loneliness and rejection.. when I feel less valuable because I am single, when I feel so utterly forgotten and abandoned... these feelings are real and they assault me at night..
by His grace I will dwell on the truth over and over again so that it will be written on my heart:
my Lord has called me back, because I am a wife deserted and distressed in spirit, a wife who married young, only to be rejected...
I trust Him that I will not have to remember the shame of my youth or the reproach of my "divorce" the ultimate abandonment by my husband..

I know I am not strong enough to pull this off, but I know that He is strong when I am weak.... that His grace is sufficient for me...I am just having to rely on that...

.. Bruises and "A Nose in Need Deserves Puffs Indeed" :S

feeling a tinzy weenzy bit better... cough more lose and attacks less suffocatingly long.. only half a huge Kleenex box used up in a day, down from a whole one the day before.. so there is light at the end of the tunnel of whatever this is.. :)
other items that inspire thankfulness and help to take one step at a
time out of the oh too familiar pit...

• my youngest will be done her semester at 10 today!!!
• some rather abrasive, trouble causing individuals have left the country :)
• one daughter gets to go to Cuba with a group of amazing people
• a Cruise in 11 sleeps..... which means meeting up with 2 special friends I haven't seen in a while :)
• a concert every night.. for a week..  ( mainly Michael W Smith :)
• devotion on the ship every morning ( last time that made the Cruise the place of healing it was for me )
• 3 days after arriving home I will have dental implant surgery... Hallelujah... it's about time these baby teeth get to retire.. :S
• in 6 1/2 weeks I get to go away with my 3 beautiful daughters for a total of 3 days... WONDERFUL
• my knee is getting better, looks worse but hurts less :)
• the knowledge deep in my soul that if He closes doors that looked inviting He knows why and it is for the best.... I LOVE the Protector of my Heart and Soul.. He is wise and strong and loves me unconditionally <3

there, that should be good enough for leaving the Eeyore cloud behind for now... hiding in the shelter of His wings is really good for my soul.. not sure when I will dare to come out of there.. but I guess it is a great place to rest.....