.... I hate sin... I hate how it creeps up and encircles us .... entangles us and how it plays into our weaknesses... even with the mind of Christ, even with the Holy Spirit inside us... the patterns and dynamics of the sinful flesh are still at work....... frustrating to say the least... sins committed by others... consequences and pain, accepting to live with them.. my own sin, showing me daily my need of a Saviour..
.. what a challenge walking with Him can be, trying to live a holy life, trying to honor Him in all that I do... I know that I am not up to it, not able to do that at all.... only through Him can I even start getting there....
..desperate dependance on Him.. but then, there is the rebellious nature, and yes, I am rebellious by nature..
throwing a stink bomb into the staff room at school in Grade 4, even in a not so disciplined Germany that was quite the thing to do.. good thing was I was a straight "A" student and my teachers loved me ;)
..but all joking aside... what even my mother thought was endearing and cute I have come to loathe..
the truth is, if I was a little less rebellious, life could be a lot easier... but then again, maybe that"s what gives me the spunk I need to approach the turmoil in my life the way I can...
... anyways...thankfully this is a fact:
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ( Philippians 1:4-6)
He is not going to give up on me, He will burn away the last little ounce of rebelliousness and sin... and then He will take me home... at least I think that's what He will do....
... and all of that not because of who I am , but because of what He has done... and not because of anything I have done, but because of who He is... He is loving, He is holy, He is merciful, He is just, He is the Beginning and the End.... this whole "cranking up" the heat... melting the gold and bringing the impurities to the surface and then skimming them off... not very nice... worse than the dentist and I HATE the dentist... but He does it because I am His child..
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. (Hebrews 12: 4-8)
.. in the same passage it later talks about the harvest of righteousness and peace all this hardship will produce... that's good, something to look forward to... He deserves it, so I will depend on Him for all that I need for life and godliness... good thing He promised He will do that....
