trying to figure something out.... dealing with my mother since she has been awake and on the mend... very difficult... back to the "form" she has been in for many years already... bitter, negative, stubborn, suspecting bad intentions behind anything anyone does, opinionated and controlling.....no more filters resulting in rude behaviour towards others... embarrassing for us, her children... exhausting...... so sad... so I am wondering, how did that happen???? She wasn't always like that......in her life my mother has had to endure a lot of hurt, disappointment and emotional abuse... the feisty, strong woman she has been, she never dealt with any of those...let alone let go of any offence .....
as Christians... this is what the Lord wants us to do:
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)
she couldn't do it... didn't know how, or didn't even see a need for this... not having understood that she too needs to be forgiven, she has never received the forgiveness that God has for her... in turn she has no motivation to let anyone off the hook... after all, she is all alone... fighting for justice for herself...
... so sad....
the bible tells us what happens, when we miss out on His grace and are not extending it to others...
Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. ( Hebrews 12:14-16 )
love the english language... something like.. when something bad happens you can either become bitter or better....
bitterness... a hardened heart... a loving, compassionate, caring woman turning in a rude, selfish, hard woman, so negative.. it breaks my heart...
praying now that the Lord has spared my mother's life, He will be even more gracious and open her eyes to see who she is... that she would realize that she is in need of a Saviour and seek Him out... receive His forgiveness and grace and have a chance to live the rest of her life out in peace and harmony.... only He can do that... I have told her many times how much the Lord loves her and just wants her to come to Him.....
it is He who saves... I will not cease to lift her up to His throne and plead with Him to unstop her ears so that she can hear Him calling her name...
Hi Miriam, so blessed by your blogs. When I read this one it triggered something in my memory. I have heard that bitterness is linked to cancer. I've heard stories of people who had cancer and than chose to forgive and let go of bitterness and were healed. Maybe this is not exactly what is happening with your Mother but thought it was interesting what you wrote. Praying for you and your family. Love you, Jen.F.
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