getting up early to make the 2 hours trek down the mountains with her 2 hours up again after... will take her to the hospital Thursday afternoon for the surgery on Friday...
have been thinking what this day also used to be a bit more the last few hours.. difficult... just watched a documentary on German TV about abortion... hard for me, the intellectual, totally faith-less way of looking at things.... made me think about what happens in a world without God... where man/woman decides lead only by their own feelings... void of a deeper responsibility for their own choices, an accountability to God.. our own feelings become our guide... because we feel a certain way we have no trouble at all justifying those choices even if our conscience bothers us....
staying in a marriage that fails to make me happy???? I just want to be happy... really?????
a child, a baby... not convenient, or scary... without God no hope for support and help... sad, so sad...
I know what I am talking about... I left a marriage many years ago for that reason, I had an abortion because I had no support, and it was just not a convenient time... I do understand it, I am guilty of doing the same thing...
I also know the consequences... I know the impact my choices have had... on me, my children... I wasn't aware of my responsibility and accountability... back then....
but I know it now... and my heart breaks for all those poor unsuspecting people that are so empty inside... no one tells them about that God has indeed given us His "rules" to protect us from the consequences... that He is there to help... the unhappy marriage..with His help and a willingness to humble oneself and repent and follow Him by both partners there is HOPE, there is happiness...
the baby... with His help and support we can do it... we can.....
living with the knowledge that my choices have caused others consequences, that my children are the ones that are walking around with them does one thing in me for sure... it makes me passionate to share with them and everyone who dares to talk to me about these issues ;) it is not worth it to disobey God... there is no real benefit in the end... happiness.... a very fleeting feeling... the blessing of obedience... eternal....
today... my prayer is that He will continue to use me .... that those wrong choices of mine are by His grace bringing about something good after all.... choices that honor God... I love you Lord...
No comments:
Post a Comment