..a world of brokenness, depression, anxiety, hurt and the sure and steadfast anchor of hope...

just crawling out of the lap of my Daddy in Heaven, my Jesus, the lover of my soul... having spent time in His embrace, hearing from His Word, words for my soul, meeting a need so deep nothing else can satisfy it...

what a special time it is always is, no appointment necessary...



was reading in Hebrews 6: 17-20

So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath,  so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us.  We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.

this is what He said to me:

A sure and steadfast anchor of my soul.... an anchor that holds me in place, grounded not in my own 

- very feeble - strength but in His... steadfast, unmovable, the same yesterday, today and tomorrow...

not dependent on my performance, my genetic makeup, citizenship, status of employment or bank account... not in my trendiness or ability to speak the language perfectly, nor the absence of wrinkles and compliance with other pressures this world puts on me... no..... only on HIS LOVE for me.....

last week I had the sweet privilege to spend 4 days with my daughter and son-in-law helping them to pack up their old place and start moving some of it into their new home...

it was wonderful to be part of this next step in their lives but mostly I loved having the opportunity to reconnect with my child, who I love so much...

it meant so much more because on Thursday afternoon I heard about a mother who just had to decide to take her 17 year old daughter off life support... a "cry for help" gone terribly wrong had left this mother and her son in a world of darkness and grief so deep, there just are no words to even try to describe the pain they are in....

reading today's passage made it even more clear for me....

without this place to hide for refuge, without finding the encouragement there , this hope, set before us by Christ, no matter the circumstances... 

I too would be tossed around by storms, trials, hurts, confusion, disappointments, by people who hurt and by stuff that's scary and horrible... this world, broken by sin is so full of it..

without this steadfast anchor to my soul, I too would just be another statistic, anxiety and depression, constantly struggling against the urge to run away, or having lost that fight already...

instead I am taking refuge in the inner place, under the wings of my God, because of what Jesus has done, my sins forgiven, my debt paid, I can enter and find the rest, the hope, the peace and even the joy.... no matter how high the waves that are badgering my little boat, no matter how devastating and utterly shocking things around me are... I am not losing hope, because the hope I have does not disappoint, it is in Jesus and in the sure, steadfast and unmovable anchor He is to my soul...

in this life I will have trouble He said, but... He said also, I can be of good cheer, have fulness of joy in His presence, pleasures forever more at His right hand, because, He has indeed overcome the world, when He chose, because of the joy set before Him, to endure the cross and pay the sins of His own.... and guess what? I am one of them...

praying for this mother and her son who are left to deal with this horrific loss, for her friend who told me about it, praying most of all that they too could come to find this anchor... this hope that Jesus offers to all who believe.....

"it's not supposed to be this way....."

a well known Christian author just recently released a book with this title, or at least something similar...

wasn't quite sure what she was talking about but just saw a picture of her and her husband renewing their wedding vows...so, I now know that her " not supposed to be this way" had to do with her marriage falling apart..

see, when I went through my marriage breaking up and the following years, I often called the hard stuff the "not-supposed-to-be-that-way" moments"

those, I knew it very soon into the whole ordeal were not just limited to the moment of impact. the moment I received the email that my husband was not going to come back. that he had decided to leave us forever, a week before Christmas.
they weren't going to be limited to me lying on the floor screaming ( I did compare it to a deer that had been hit ) and the agony it was to tell the kids... the Christmas I am not sure how we survived and the long hard weeks following the casual dismissal of a lifelong covenant...

no, they are not limited to any of this, in fact, they are still going on.
two weddings of my daughters made that very clear indeed.

it's just not supposed to be that way.

it's a true statement.

This is what Jesus said in Mark 10:2-10

And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”  He answered them, “What did Moses command you?”  They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.”  And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.  But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’  ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

so, no, it's not supposed to be that way.

neither is it supposed to be that way that we hate a brother in our heart.
or that we impatiently make a hurtful remark
or think of ourselves above others...

the first "not-supposed-to-be-like-that-way" moment happened in the garden.
when Eve took the fruit.
when Adam didn't stop her but instead went along.
the rest, as they say is history.....

the good news is, that at the fullness of time God did indeed send the solution that He had planned before the beginning of time to earth.
the beloved Son, the Darling of Heaven, in the form of a baby, entered this world..
He came to lay down His life, the spotless lamb, wrapped in swaddling cloths as to not get any blemish on Him, sinless, and therefore able to atone for our sins once and for all, He was crushed for our sake.
He rose again and defeated death, so everyone who believes in Him can be free ..
free to have a relationship with God,
free to sin no more
free from fear
free from Satan's condemnation.....


I saw that this famous author's marriage was restored, new vows were whispered, promises made.
I am rejoicing with her and her family. God is indeed good.

for me, not that outcome.
no restoration of the marriage.
no miracle.

and yet, He did restore the years the locusts have eaten, He did use for good what was intended for evil, He got the glory and I got the good...

because one of the main lessons I learned was this:
my hope is in Him.
not in my miraculously restored circumstance.
not even in my children not being hurt and affected by this sin, over and over again.

no.
in Him.

in the meantime He has even restored some of the circumstances in wonderful ways.
scars, for sure, moments, for sure, but He, who is my hope,
He is always there.
He never disappoints
He never leaves or forsakes.

so.
how "not-supposed-to-be-that-way" are the "not-supposed-to-be-that-way"moments and trials and various griefs???

is He not sovereign over all of them?
have they not been orchestrated informed by His purposeful goodness???

I think so.

so I rejoice, even though I might be enduring trials of many kinds, since my momentary and light afflictions are achieving for me an eternal glory that FAR outweighs them all.

God is most glorified in us,
when we are most satisfied in Him

SOLI DEO GLORIA