sitting down with my puppy on the couch to entice her to eat her food... ( because otherwise she will not eat until later at night and then wake me up at least twice to have something to drink and then pee, in the middle of the night... ) I am praying and thanking God for the new day... I am praising Him for the fact that this time the feeling of
" I guess I am really getting over this finally" is not just a short lived peak just to fall back into some pit of sadness......
looking back, sharing my "vast experience" ( :S ) with a friend who is going through it now too, the statement that the healing does not come as a nice slowly moving up kind of process but rather this up and down roller coaster that has you trying to hold on for dear life it moves so uncontrollably fast... is such a TRUE statement....
it seems that after some time and some healing work by the Healer this little tiny vessel called Miriam has entered smoother waters... realizing that there is no quick fix and that one of the things one needs to be committed to is to live all the ups and downs and continue to trust God, even though depending in what direction and how high up you are being tossed, you might wonder if He is really there.....
after that Wild Water Ride of the last 2 years I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He indeed is at work even when we feel so utterly helpless, alone, hurt and forgotten.... He works through those feelings and applies His healing one little layer at a time....
at first you don't even notice it... after all, circumstances sometimes rip the thin layers off again, and that hurts more than just taking off a band aid.... but, He keeps on doing it... at all times, every day, every minute .... and..... if we continue to be obedient, forgive those that have trespassed against us, we will one day look up and realize that the waves around us are not high anymore... peaceful waters are surrounding us and such a surge of love fills our hearts, because we know that we know that we know that it was ALL Him, it is because He is what we are not... consistent, faithful and reliable... ALWAYS....
looking back I can see that many of the "battle fields" I had been living with for so long now are at peace... relationships restored and love flowing freely again.... sickness and tragedy have burned away tension and hang ups and yes, His plans are to prosper and not to harm... even when that's hard to see for the little boat that is tossed to and fro.... they are to give hope and a future... a peaceful future in the arms of the Saviour...
I am not an Amusement Park / Roller Coaster / Wild Water Rides participant... but I have watched my kids do all of them many times... crazily steep hills and jerky turns and curves are followed by quieter stretches.... just before another wild and scary part is about to come...
in "real life" when walking with the Lord... there for sure are going to be more scary and unsettling circumstances around the next corner as well, the difference is that as He carries us through the bad, we learn to trust Him more and more and because of our personal experiences of His faithfulness in difficult situations, His perfect and LOVING plan.... we are not tossed about the way we were before...
my mother's illness, my daughter's cancer scare.... they all did not take away the peace I had.... and I am so thankful for that..... I am so grateful, I am more than happy to honor Him and praise Him and exalt Him through all that I do ( or at least really try)....... it's all I can. do.. Love Him with all my heart... give Him my life... and tell other's about Him....... they need to know just how wonderful He is.... #SoliDeoGloria
