... tested by the Father???

met with a cherished friend on Friday... and she shared with me something God had been showing her, that applied so very well to an experience I had ...

something very weird happened to me a little over 3 weeks ago, got a glimpse of something amazing.. I remember having my ongoing convo with Jesus that night happening at the same time.. asking Him, could that be what it looks and feels like when You are orchestrating something and give me what I really, really long for, could it really be true...

well, it turned out not to be that... thankfully wise friends had pointed me to Jesus before I could get all bend out of shape because of it.. taking captive lies and even where my deceitful and wicked heart wanted to take me... 

so this friend who was reading through Job, had realized something very profound.. Job never knew that God and Satan had this little thing going... that Satan had said to God that Job was really only living so faithfully because He had everything one could wish for, and if he lost it, he for sure would curse God... God allowed Satan to take away everything but Job's life and tada... Job still didn't curse God...

we have the privilege of knowing the facts, what happened in the background, but Job never did... and, he DID lose everything... he WAS sick... not just a little, but horrendously so..  and.. he never cursed God..

made her think of what might be going on "behind the scenes" today... maybe sometimes we are tested... for sure sometimes we are tested... maybe this little confusing story of my life was just that... was I going to get mad at God... accuse Him of playing with me and being mean... or would I trust Him more and run to Him... would I be willing to learn the lesson and surrender..

so glad it is not all dependent just on me.. because I am not sure if I would have passed the test... but with the help of "Christ beside me" I did...

with the help of those He has put near me I did make one more important step forward, the giving up of looking for my prince.. I think He whispered something very profound into my ears while praying with a friend last week...maybe I have to live this lesson out even more.. I think I need to do something "tangible"... I have an idea, what that could be..

stay tuned...  ;)

... what if your healing comes through tears...

it was announced a few days ago that Laura Story, the beautiful Christian singer is joining us on the Michael W Smith and friends ( that's me!!!!!) Cruise in July 2012...
made me go back and listen to her song "Blessings"...

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

                       'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

                   What if Your healing comes through tears

                 What if a thousand sleepless nights 

                 Are what it takes to know You’re near

                    What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

I cannot believe how far He has brought me in a year.. last year this time the sorrow of it all overwhelmed me even though I had thought I was doing so well... this year, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the healing HAS come through tears, and there were many... my thousand sleepless nights have made me very much aware just how near He really is to me..

fact is, the trial was a blessing in disguise... never in my life have I felt so whole and so fulfilled, have known my purpose, my value and my worth like I know it now..

I think my kids are doing a little better with the whole situation as well.. I knew that my Jesus would not let us down, but do as He promised, walk through the bad with us... 

other things are going on, and there will never be a time without trials for His children...and that's okay.

as He has been guiding me through the trials of my life He has been increasing the peace that is mine at all times.. quite amazing.. so even though  the things that are going on are rather huge, I am at perfect peace and once again just stand there in the presence of my God.. arms open wide... no self defence necessary... inviting Him to do what it takes for His will to be done.. because, let's face it, what could be better?

traveling soon, into the abyss of the dysfunction... I will have to rely on Him to keep us safe and protected from the evil one who will want to bring us down.. we will stand firm... 

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,  and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.... ( Ephesians 6:13-15)

so happy that today's technology let's me take my bible in many different versions, with all kinds of commentaries in one slim little device.. His Word is the Truth, and all I need, He has given me His righteousness and His Spirit is in me. I can pray and ask Him to help me keep my eyes fixed on Him, forgive right away and love with His love... not expecting anything, but giving everything...  not possible without Him, with Him.. doable..

thankfully I know He is going with me and that is all I need..