.. it's like an earthquake, shaking up what was presumed to be peaceful, solid ground... coming out of nowhere, leaving me curled up on my bed.. falling asleep with tears flowing, whimpering like a wounded animal... AGAIN.... drifting away as a measure of escape...
u'd think someone my age would know herself a bit better... what is it about the break up of a family that continues to allow punches to hit so totally unexpectedly..
waking up with the sick feeling in my stomach.. knowing that another consequence has come up that needs to be lived through, oh....to be able to escape...
connecting with a friend this morning one thing we shared was that maturing and "growing up" comes with understanding and accepting that there are things we just have to face, as something that just "is what it is"... and that as much as we would like to change it we have to be courageous and make the best out of it, not necessarily for ourselves but for others, like our own children...
so today... I wish it was over... I wish it would finally be done .. I wish I wasn't knocked out like that anymore... and as much as I know that nothing will be able to shake me, or destroy me, because my house is build on the solid Rock, still, fifteen months later I so would wish the punches in the stomach would stop....
I was planning to meet with another friend today, then work on some stuff for the center, instead I was debilitated , trying to regain my equilibrium, getting together the courage to continue on the path that has become mine... trusting Him for the strength to get up from my bed, wipe the tears off my face and keep on keeping on... one minute at a time..
the question I have is: Will it end?
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