...my Husband...

finished reading the book "Single, Married, Separated , and Life after Divorce"..... good to read all the things the Lord has been teaching me throughout my walk with Him nicely organized in chapters... forgiveness and openness the key to healing, accepting that the trauma of tearing apart what had become one takes time to heal, finding healing and acceptance, a restored heart and soul in Christ Alone, not in a new relationship, taking time to be in "intensive care" alone with Him, and moving on to the healing in community... companionship with sisters in Christ and family, learning that God made me whole and unique ... being wise and making good choices for the future, taking care of all areas of my life, appreciating the help I am getting..learning from mistakes I made in choosing my partner and and being a godly wife, accepting my part in the failure of my marriage, even though I was not the one ending it.. knowing that a failed marriage does not make me a failure... understanding that my God in His infinite wisdom has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future..... 

This future may or may not include another husband... a flesh and blood one... but this is true for me:

For your Maker is your husband— 

   the LORD Almighty is his name— 

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; 

   he is called the God of all the earth. 

 The LORD will call you back 

   as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— 

a wife who married young, 

   only to be rejected,” says your God.

 Isaiah 54:5+6

a vow made in the presence of the Lord, a commitment, broken, the greek word for divorce means "defection"... the one to leave a marriage a defector, choosing to not "stick to and chase after" ( that's what cleaving means ) the wife of his choosing anymore.. the husband is the one doing the chasing... as it says in Genesis, it is the man that leaves his father and mother to "cleave" to His wife... not an unforgivable sin, but one to repent from and sin no more... found myself asking my Ex husband to never lie to the new woman in his life... to not put her through what I had to go through ...

my prayer for me, my children and anyone who is close to me is that  we would be wise and seek the Lord's will... try to walk with Him, not ahead of Him, let Him be the One to call the shots... give Him the role only He can successfully play... after all, I am a sheep and He is the Shepherd, He alone knows what is good for anyone of us...to know Him more and more is what I am striving for...