....do not worry....

... okay, so today I was catching myself worrying about how I will be able to afford the house I bought...things are not working out the way I thought they could or should....now that in itself is hard because it has so many layers of unfairness and disappointment.. it's difficult to even sort through...

.....but all these things put aside, I am at a place where I have to prove if I mean what I say, walk the talk, put my trust in God, or not....

So as I realized that I was worrying about it, I stopped and prayed right there...I used to say to whoever wanted to hear it that if I could choose I would prefer love and peace in my small little shack over the tension and coldness we had in our "mansion".. what are beautiful things compared to love, peace and acceptance...

Well... I guess the choice was made for me... someone left, the tension and constant criticism decreased, other hurt and pain was added because of the breaking apart of a family, and the mansion had to be vacated...

There is more peace in the daily life... the new house is going to be smaller and less "fancy"....my need for security that I am fully aware of for the first time in my life is not being met...  so this is now where the rubber hits the road... do I trust Him for my financial security or not...

He has proven Himself to me in so may ways, how could I not trust Him now.. I have put my trust in Him and chosen not to fight about all these issues when settling this part of the separation agreement... trusting that there is something He has for us, me and my girls, and I believe this with all my heart. Somehow I thought things would be a little different still, but, no matter what he is the One that will give me and all of us all we will ever need.

Hebrews 13:5+6 says this:

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 

"Never will I leave you; 

 never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, 

 "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid." 

 1 Timothy: 7+8 says:

For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 

And lastly Matthew 6:25-27

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life....

So there, no surprises here, the Word has the answer...I am blessed, my Ex-husband is taking good care of our financial needs for now... the "security" that I would have found had my plan worked out is so much better safely held in my Father's hand... He will provide, Jehovah Jirah..... after all that's who He is...

I love how He grows me, there is so much I still need to surrender.. I am amazed at how gentle He is exposing one area at a time... His love blows me away, once again...

Oh, how He loves you and me... We Praise You Lord...