....the smell of death....

...so I was stupid enough to agree to get together with my dad.... I kind of had decided I was not going to try to make them understand how much they are letting me down and hurting me... I was sure that it would not make any difference but just give them more ammunition and gossip material...
The little girl inside of me was naive enough to have some hope and that's why I agreed... I think...


As could be expected my hopes didn't come true... you wonder how long it takes for me to get it...  (I must be quite dense...)


Far from hopes coming true ... more things were said that were hurtful and I am sure I did give them more interesting tidbits about their horrible daughter.. to be shared with others that are shaking their heads about me.


It is interesting, I am disappointed, but it is not hitting me as hard as I would have expected it to.... well, for one, I knew they didn't care about me, I knew they are stuck where they are...


And I have known this for a while as well:


If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. ( John 15:18)


If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. (John 15:19)


I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. (John 17:14)


Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. ( 1 John 3:13)


So maybe this is rather a comfort, knowing that my mere existence, as a born again follower of Christ is causing the hatred... 


But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. ( 2 Cor 2:14-16)


So as I am learning to walk in His strength and security alone, I am comforted by the fact that it must mean I am standing up for what is right... following my Lord as good as I can.....


It might be a sad and lonely place at times, but it is where I need to be....