..hanging with my Lord...

... feeling so blessed these days.. so thankful for the presence of my best friend and lover of my soul, He goes with me wherever I go and I can feel the warmth of His embrace all the time..
since being single I have gone from feeling rejected, thrown away and broken into a thousand pieces to feeling whole, loved and cherished like never before..
the amazing thing is that it has nothing to do with my circumstances..
they have not really changed that much..
and as much as I firmly believe that God did create us to be in a marriage relationship, and long to one day meet the man God has for me, I am feeling great... so surprising to me..
since being alone I have met so many different people, just had a few hours communicating with someone who seemed like a gift from the Lord to me for that time.. those few hours of one random evening..
blessing flowing to me in such different ways.. enriching my heart and soul..
embracing the blessings as they come, appreciating them and drinking them in..., know some amazing songs I didn't know before, gleaned some insight into matters that are important to me, oh how marvellous to feel souls resonating... I learned to do that.. just taking every hour for what it is.. and allowing the peace and joy of the Lord to permeate the last little corner of my soul..
never in my life have I felt that complete, loved and secure..
I think this is what it should have felt like all along.. so thankful that He has brought me here..
He is my faithful companion, my Lord and my Saviour, He has carried me through the valley and He just hangs out with me .. delighting over my deep joy and the awe I feel as I am so very close to Him.. filled with His love my cup overflows.. love spilling over..
Oh Jesus.. that you would have saved me when I was hostile and lost... Your grace and mercy overwhelm me and make my soul sing... eternally..
may all I do and say bring glory and honour to you..  #SoliDeoGloria

..I am not my family tree..

social media.. good? or bad? not really that important what each of us thinks, it's just that.. social media..
it is here and it is alive and chances are it will get even more popular.. even though I cannot imagine how we all could spend even more time on it..
read a blog, posted on twitter on Monday, written by a young Christian woman, 25 years old, about her life and priorities and bringing up a child in today's world..
beautiful to get a glimpse into her life, very mature and wise for her age, realizing that Jesus needs to be the centre of our lives ...
thinking of her, and where she comes from.. heard her father share on Saturday how wonderful his parents are, made me feel a few different things..
so blessed to hear that it does actually exist, families that have been Christ followers for generations , healthy and whole.. parents that have loved their children well, the children in turn able to love their own kids the way God meant for it to be..
sadness about the fact that this has not been something that has been true for me..
becoming a follower of Christ when I was 30, choices I had made already were affecting my children's upbringing, trying to work through the dysfunction that had been passed down to me, I know that the chains of the generational sin has been broken and my children, even though others in their lives are not walking with the Lord, are free from the bondage..
knowing that God is sovereign and that He loves me and my daughters, I let go of the sadness and rather am thankful that now they do have the chance to start a legacy of godly upbringing like this young woman "exudes "..
realizing that everyone has struggles in this life, no matter their background, and that Jesus has overcome the world.. I know that through Him I have become a new creation...

I am not my family tree

These are different leaves, you know

There are miles and miles between

My roots and what I’m trying to grow

I am not my past mistakes

Labelled by some place and time

There is mercy in the soil, mercy in the sun

Learning to forgive, what cannot be undone

And what was meant to harm can’t harm you in the end
..I am not my family tree...

this is the truth: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  (2 Corinthians 5:17)

He makes all things beautiful in His time, Praise God!

..confusion not from God!!!..

used to live in this bubble..  most of my friends were from MY church and some, just a few,  that weren't Christians, as in my family ...
life was pretty straightforward and all seemed pretty clear.. the truth was what I had been learning since becoming a Christian, solid, biblical teaching and my own studies of the Word, the Lord making things clear to me and changing me gently..
in the meantime, because my life fell apart two and a half year ago, I have met some Christians that have different views on some pretty significant things ... have to admit it has thrown me off at times..
thankfully the Holy Spirit keeps making me feel uncomfortable again and again and I am drawn back to the Word..
today Michael Minot, amazing Christian guy tweeted this: " Guard your heart and your mind. These are the places where the enemy wages his warfare"... I had just been spending time in the Word and this was what jumped out to me: For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.  ( 1 Cor 14 : 33)
if confusion enters one's mind we can be sure it is not from God.. with God there is peace, wisdom and direction..
needed to be reminded that my fragile and vulnerable heart is easy prey.. cannot let Satan try and use this to bring confusion to my mind..
so here are some reminders for me:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God..He was with God in the beginning.. ( John 1: 1+2 )
and then there is this:
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,  so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16+17)

bottom line is this: Truth is Truth and the Word is the Word.. I am choosing to submit to it's authority.. I do not have to question or debate, I don't have to seek for answers it doesn't give, I just have to believe it and trust God..
I love Jesus and He is the Word.. He is the One who was with God in the beginning..
this is how John chapter 1 goes on:
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

I need to leave it there because this is what it says as well:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. ( Isaiah 55:8 )
That's it.

..mountaintop experiences..

mountain top experiences... those are the ones we don't want to end.. very different from the times in the valley.. nobody likes those..
had one of those mountain top experiences on Saturday evening.. driving down to Toronto with a very dear and cherished friend.. waiting in line to get to go inside the church where the long awaited concert was going to be..
meet and greet with Michael W Smith... and what can I say.. he just doesn't disappoint...
the concert... amazing, the music, the atmosphere, the "little sermons".. worshipping my Jesus in such a setting is such a blessing...
would love to do this all the time.. but then, if we stayed up there how would others hear..
 this just reminded me of a song by Amy Grant..

I love to sing and I love to pray

Worship the Lord most everyday

I go to the temple, and I just want to stay

To hide from the hustle of the world and its ways

And I'd love to live on a mountain top

Fellowshipping with the Lord

I'd love to stand on a mountain top

'Cause I love to feel my spirit soar

But I've got to come down from that mountain top

To the people in the valley below

Or they'll never know that they can go

To the mountain of the Lord

Now, praising the Father is a good thing to do

Worship the Trinity in spirit and truth

But if we worshipped all of the time

There would be no one to lead the blind

Now, I am not saying that worship is wrong

But worship is more than just singing a song

It's all that you say, and everything that you do

It's letting His Spirit live through you

so coming down from the mountaintop.. meeting with a client at Hope for Life today.. it's about telling those that do not know, they too can go to the mountain of the Lord.. so thankful I get to share my Jesus with the ones he has sent to us.. so blessed to know Him, so blessed by faithful Christian Artists like Michael W Smith and Amy Grant.. allowing the Lord to minister to others through their music... AMAZING.. His plans ROCK!!!!

.. May 5, 2012... a very special day indeed..

it is 3:11 pm on Saturday May 5, 2012... not a very significant day in the big scheme of things... but... a very significant day for me..
May 16, 2009 was the day I went to my first Michael W Smith concert... I had known MWS before, remember loving 2 CDs of him a very long time ago... but, I have to admit I had not paid a lot of attention to this particular Christian Artist..
May 2009 he came to Hamilton and the Christian School promoted the concert.. I got a bunch of friends together and we went...
that day, hopeless and broken as I was, ( I had found first evidence of my husband cheating the Nov before) God used a song "Deep in love with you" to show me that He knew, and that He cared..
I bought the CD and since then... I have been a huge fan of Michael W Smith (what some very mean people call "groupie"..shocking).. his songs have ministered to my heart and helped me through the last 3 years in a way no one else's songs ever have.. it was like God was speaking directly to me.. giving me strength to make it through some rather difficult circumstances..
the last concert of his I went to was a Benefit concert for the Franklin Theatre in Franklin, TN.. where MWS and so many other amazing Christian Artists live... it was August 6, 2011, the day my Ex-husband got married...
I have been looking forward to this concert today for a very long time.. I mean, 9 months between concerts of my absolutely fav artist is just a little too long ;)
so, after cleaning the house today with my girlies, we needed it to get all sparkly for our Early "Mami Day" Celebrations tomorrow.. I have been getting myself ready..
it is a special day.. Meet and Greet with Michael before the concert.. then hours of worshipping with him and so many other fellow Christians.. I always feel it is like getting a glimpse of heaven..
so maybe I am a groupie ( I do think he is a wonderful godly man, I love his voice, his music and his looks... ) but who cares.. God has used and continues to use him in my life and in the lives of so many others...
it is a very special day indeed <3

... new wife, old wife... :S

... life as a divorced woman..
very interesting.. never a dull moment, that's for sure...
simple, yet profound and significant moments definitely have become a little spicier.. as in, there are ingredients that weren't on the original recipe.. ;)
seems like as a child of God, following His plan for dealing with loss, with His blessing and healing an ongoing thing in my life, I seem to be the one that is able to deal with those moments the best... funny, who would have thought that..
this weekend, I had the pleasure of moving my daughter back into my humble abode.. for a year for sure, I will have 2 of my children living with me.. a delight.. because I do love them with an undying love and devotion.. they are a gift from the Lord and they never fail to bring me joy..
so, moving her stuff this weekend we were:  mother, father, 2 children + one daughter's boyfriend, one new wife of father... ha... potential for awkward moments? probably.. did I experience any? no...
had no problem whatsoever sharing this "simple, yet significant " moment with the woman that replaced me as the wife of the man that was my husband at one point in time.. hmmmm
resentment? none. anger? none. sadness? surprisingly none.. now that is just amazing. I like her. I like him, they care about my kids.. no need for any negative feelings on my part..
would there have been profound sadness, say a year ago? pretty sure... because healing brought by the Lord still takes time.. ( time alone does not heal!!!!!)
was there some tension? yes, but like I said, not originating from me or affecting me.. maybe everyone else felt a little bit awkward, not sure..
these kind of events definitely have a way of highlighting the fact that this is not your regular family unit anymore and that will always be the case..
I am just so thankful that the pain has left me.. the wound has healed.. quite amazing, really.
a great sermon about grieving the "Christian/ God's way" at Winston Churchill Community Church where we attended to witness a dear friend's baptism.. confirmed that I indeed have walked through all the stages of dealing with a loss.. embracing the pain, allowing the tears and the tremendous sadness for as long as it was there, forgiving and continuing to trust God for all I needed, walking closely with Him and loving with His love.. He has been faithful, He has brought about healing and Him and I are closer than ever before..
hoping that those "moments" in the life of my children will continue to become more normal the tension will disappear completely, I thank my Lord for His love and support and for His grace, lived out... He is who He says He is.. Trusting Him with my fragile heart.. 100%!!!!!!!

.. the whimsical world of Pinterest...

so Pinterest... I had seen it creep up on Facebook a while ago... I also noticed just how much some of my friends were using it.. someone invited me and I was determined... to NOT even start.. because, very obviously this was just one more thing to waste your time on....
over the last few years I had kind of lost all my interest in decorating, gardening, never had much interest in cooking anyways, lost my love for photography... my life had been I guess reduced to making it through..
one day at a time and then, as a way of bringing about healing the Lord had allowed me to look beyond myself and any superficial stuff and called me to focus on helping others... it has been a wonderful process and I am so blessed to spend a big chunk of my time to minister to people that need my help....
so... Pinterest... visiting with my oldest daughter and going to one of her favourite whimsical and lovely places, the Bakery Bobette & Belle in Toronto I was charmed by the beauty and uniqueness, the flowers and cakes and the decor ... it was like stepping into a land of fairies and baby breath and loveliness...
at her place she showed me her Pinterest account and there it was again... that dreamy world... that virtual place of innocence and wonderfulness ...
I couldn't resist any more.. so for the last 5 days I have been pinning away.. I have pinned to boards I called "Moments" and "Whimsical" I have one called "Babies" and one called "Faith".... and I am LOVING it....

there are so many beautiful things in this world... I think I needed to be reminded of it... having been confronted with a lot of brokenness and heartache and the inevitability of conflict and pain over the many years all this has been going on in my life, I had concentrated on holding on to my faith .. accepting the pain as a normal thing and finding joy in my relationship with Jesus...
over the last 6 months or so He has been faithfully keeping me in perfect peace .. an amazing miracle... He is and always will be the source of all my joy, strength and wisdom... but I think He allowed last Saturday afternoon to be a trigger for me to allow myself some time off once in a while.. some time off from facing the world on the front lines.. trying to communicate the love and care of God to people that each day face circumstances that render them hopeless, hurt and damaged..
so, I am not feeling guilty for indulging in some of the " virtual beauty " available to me in this world of Pinterest... I am too busy for it to become an addiction that could take my eyes off what is most important... serving my Lord and loving people into the Kingdom...
just really really love all those beautiful pics... it's all so whimsical <3

... my last gift of love...

I know a little song for this passage.. this is why it was so very easy to memorize it.. my kids learned it way back when at VBS..

May 2009 my friend and mentor challenged me to pray through this passage and ask the Lord how good a job I was doing with loving my husband like that.. things had been even tougher than before and 7 months later he would walk out on us for good..

did not know that back then and, good girl that I am ;) I listened to the instructions and sat down one afternoon and prayed...

didn't expect what happened then... my Father in Heaven, gently, yet firmly showed me where over time I had not loved my husband well at all... I was not patient anymore, often times I was not kind at all, I had become very easily angered, and even though I forgave him for disappointing and letting me and the kids down every time, I still resented him.. I didn't trust, I felt very hopeless, and I had a very hard time persevering for sure..

I broke down in bitter tears and all I could do was ask God to forgive me... I repented and in turn God flooded my heart with what I think was His love for my husband.. a love that did not expect anything in return, that loved him for the potential he had, for the fact that he tried at times, a love fuelled by compassion and grace rather than by hurt feelings and disappointment.. I went to my husband and asked him to forgive me as well... I so hoped things could be better from then on..

3 months later I found proof of an affair he had been having for some time and even though I forgave and we spent another 3 months together, he eventually left..
my friends and I couldn't quite understand why God would have brought about that big change just for the marriage to fall apart anyways..

in the months following the separation God did show me how right His timing was after all...
loving my husband the way I did, through the change in my heart that God had brought about, I was able to still love him .. loving him now meant letting him go, accepting that even though my heart was changed, his wasn't... forgiving him over and over again, without any thought of revenge.. still seeing the good, the potential and the willingness to try to do better than what had been modelled to him in his childhood... I was able to accept the pain that this caused me, not fight it but move through it instead.. living it, every moment of every day...
it wasn't nice.. but it allowed for healing to take place... the feelings of rejection and abandonment I had I offered up to the lover of my soul, because He alone loves me perfectly... I was not trying to control or manipulate  the one that had never met my emotional needs  to give it to me now ( duh)... I didn't expect anything anymore .. so I was no longer disappointed..

reading through this passage this week something dawned on me...
this is a very high calling and before I commit my life to another man I better make sure I am willing to love him like this... because I definitely want to be the wife I need to be, this time from the beginning ...

... loss restored?

love the music to "The Story"...such great insight , looking at it all unfold from a totally different view point... my fav right now: the song of Adam and Eve...

If I could, I’d rewrite history

I’d choose differently; if I could, I would

I’d leave out the part where I broke Your heart

In the garden’s shade, fix the mess I made

If I could, I would

If I could, close my eyes and then

Dance around again; if I could, I would

Be who You adored, why did I need more?

When beauty was not trained to hide behind my shame

If I could, I would.

Can You hear us cry?

Wishing we could turn back time

To feel Your breath when branches move

Take one more sunset walk with You

Must each tomorrow hold

Such brokenness untold?

Can’t imagine how You could

See all of me and say it’s good

If I could hold one memory

It would surely be how You walked with us

I’d go back in time, un-tell my first lie

And let Love’s injury heal in spite of me

Can You hear us cry?

Wishing we could turn back time

To feel Your breath when branches move

Take one more sunset walk with You

Must each tomorrow hold

Such brokenness untold?

Can’t imagine how You could

See all of me and say it’s good

It is good. It is good.

You still love us more than we believed You could

Could there be something more?

Will it ever be the way it was before? 

I personally have never thought about what Adam and Eve must have felt after they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden... they were the only Ones to know fellowship with God the way it was intended... it must have been... I can't think of another word: Heavenly!!!

and still, even though they had it all, they desired more... and they made a bad choice... sin entered the world and the rest is history..

makes me feel a little bit better when I, even though I have fellowship with my Saviour still long for something more.. caught up in this broken world, longing for Heaven, and all life was supposed to be, I too make bad choices at times... I, in my weakness sometimes turn away and take things into my own hands.. instead of staying right there with my Saviour, the Lover of my Soul, the only One that can fulfill all my needs..

the only One that, even though I have disappointed Him again, still loves me... 

as much as I much rather would never make a bad choice I know that I who have been forgiven much, love much more.. is this why He allows it, even though it breaks His heart.. again and again?

can't even try to comprehend such a love... 

the last question in the song... "will it ever be the way it was before???" I think the answer is YES... once Jesus comes back, all brokenness will be gone and we will be enjoying the eternal closeness all of us long for... Heavenly....

...NEWSFLASH: He came to save the LOST!!!!!

let me tell you about my Jesus...

in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. ( John 1: 1-4)

that's the One..


who, being in very nature God,  did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,  being made in human likeness.  and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—  even death on a cross  (Philippians 2: 6-8)

that One..

in the Garden, He prayed : Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you.  for you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him.  now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.  I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do.  and now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began. ( John 17:1-5)

so this One... almost 18 years ago He revealed Himself to me... He had known me, but I didn't know Him ... since then I have been seeking Him and getting to know Him better...
and this is something about Him I know now..

He came to bind up the broken-hearted... through His people...

scenario today:
a girl: pregnant.. living below the poverty line... gave birth... without hope she looked for it in the wrong places..
a baby: taken away from it's mother...
He:  told us ( how amazing is that) ..
we: NEED to help her...
that's it....

He, the Word, God's Son.. was there in the beginning... He, chose to give His life for us..He cares.. deeply.. how can we NOT?????????????????????

.. Salvation... all up to Him..

I found this pic.. or I should say the original for it, online.. then I made it my own.. this pic shows two of my most fav creations...Ladybugs and Forget-me -nots... I just needed to spend some time this afternoon creating something pretty.. springy... hopeful.. peaceful... I realized talking to a friend yesterday that when my world had come tumbling down I lost a few not so obvious things, just because I was depressed.. lost some of the things that used to bring me joy... taking photos and "playing" with them was one of them.. gardening is another....
so, today, when looking at all those photos of Forget-me-nots... I decided to plant some this spring...

Easter Sunday today.. this morning as I was driving to church I was praying, thinking my parents would be there as well... asking that today would be the day they would realize their need for a Saviour.. as in being convicted of their sin and brokenness.. over the years I have shared what it means to love Jesus, how wonderful it is to be loved by Him and by the Father... it never sunk in... I guess, it is just another nice fairy tale to them...
I know it has to be God, He is the only One that is able to show us just how much in need of a Saviour we are..
anyways... I prayed... they didn't show up... Great :(
the sermon was amazing, as always.... worshipping Him and celebrating what He accomplished for us on the cross... what a very special day.... I am not carrying the responsibility for their Salvation on my shoulders.. that's in the most capable hands it could be, His .. so this afternoon I chose to take some time to just play a little on my Macbook... nice... Thanks be to Him...

.. The Darling of Heaven Crucified...

this is how love wins, every single time, climbing high up on a cross where someone else should die..
this is how love heals, the deepest part of you, letting Himself bleed into the middle of your wounds...

today, Good Friday.. good, because what was intended for evil in reality was predestined sacrifice... Jesus willingly surrendering His Life.. so that we would not have to receive the just punishment for our sins but instead be forgiven, finding freedom from sin, and be given the gift of eternal life, starting the moment our eyes are opened and our heart kneels before our Lord...

today, a day to remember what has touched my heart almost 18 years ago and has never let go of me..
a love so amazing, so divine.. How deep the Father's love for us, that He would give His only begotten son ... that the Son would die a brutal death on the cross... so that we would know victory over sin..

sang many beautiful and well known songs today, and there .. one line from one of those songs all of a sudden jumped out at me.. the "DARLING" of heaven crucified.....
touched me so deeply... my Jesus, born a baby... Darling of his parents.. Darling of God the Father who loves His Son.. crucified..
with my "Darlings" pretty much all grown up I know this feeling... looking at a young woman and in my heart feeling and "seeing" my little darling... my precious baby... such love.. so overwhelmingly immense.. who could even attempt to fathom the love the Father has for His Son, the Darling of Heaven...

..  Christ Jesus...

  Who, being in very nature God, 

   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 

 rather, he made himself nothing 

   by taking the very nature of a servant, 

   being made in human likeness. 

 And being found in appearance as a man, 

   he humbled himself 

   by becoming obedient to death— 

      even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place 

   and gave him the name that is above every name, 

 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, 

   in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 

 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, 

   to the glory of God the Father

Good Friday... a Good day indeed.. so many years ago... my heart belongs to the darling of Heaven...

to serve Him and to worship Him is the least I can do... 

... symptoms of a "heart attack"...

The most common symptoms of heart attack in women are :

Shortness of breath X
Weakness X
Unusual fatigue
Cold sweat
Dizziness X
Pain or pressure in the back or high chest X
Pain or discomfort in one or both arms X
Discomfort may be described as pressure, ache, or tightness; may come and go X
A burning sensation in the chest or upper abdomen
Irregular heartbeat
Nausea

okay... so, if you can say yes to 6 out of 11 symptoms... should you go to  the Emergency Department?
if you are a woman like me, you end up waiting it out and just going back home to lie on your couch,...
wise? or maybe more stupid?
there has been a time in my life, I think it was 4-5 years ago, when because of those symptoms my heart was checked out very thoroughly... the trouble turned out to be stress induced and I was found totally "heart healthy"...  the stress during that time of my life was tremendous.... thankfully I haven't had any chest pain anymore since my main "stressor" left my life.. ( even though humongous pain was inflicted when he did, it eventually led to a less tension filled and less stressed-out life)

so when I started to have those pains again over the last 2 weeks I was not very impressed...
it seems that something is going on that has not happened before... I am not feeling very stressed out, I do have peace , the peace that surpasses understanding, the peace that has nothing to do with circumstances but with who I trust in and rely on, He, my Saviour is the one who gives it to me.... amazing, but
apparently... my body has not quite caught up with where my soul is... :S

so... right now I am just waiting, trying to relax.... I hate to be going to the Emergency when "Nothing" is wrong... I am sure that He will come through for me,... not only in the stressful situations that are going on a little too close for comfort, but also in regards to my health... my physical health that is...
emotional health has been restored in me over all those almost 18 years of walking with Him..
scars from childhood and new inflicted wounds... everything has been healed or is in the process of being healed.. His attention to my wounds and hurts has allowed me to be gracious and kind, forgiving and able to relate peacefully with people that have hurt me so much in the past..
the transformation in my heart and soul has also enabled me to without fear stand up for the truth... a price has to be paid at times but I know that this is what He wants for me..
this is how I bring glory to His name.. by acting and reacting so differently from what would be considered normal... me sitting with my Ex-husband and his wife at the Dance Competition or me putting up wise boundaries with my very dysfunctional family... loving them but not allowing them to control or manipulate me.. all possible through Him who saved me and who gives me all I need... with Him, even though my foolish human heart ( the organ) will  still hurt, it is well with my soul...
Praise and Glory be to Him!!!!!

....putting others first...

it is a mad, mad world... humanity' s legacy of hatred, anger, murder and deception that started so very, very long ago..is making this earth a place that we just don't belong to...our citizenship is in Heaven, as born again Christians, we become more and more sensitive to just how broken this world really is...

it kind of spoils the "enjoyment" of life's regular entertainment and highlights... we have different ones.. and they are so wonderful, I would NEVER want to trade those for anything this world has to offer... and yet... this "out of place" feeling is really not such a nice thing.. oh well.....

 a society like ours, that spends lots of time watching reality shows about cakes and bachelors and worst restaurants or "celebrity doubles" while every 30 seconds a child dies of hunger... is a sad thing.. I know.. this is happening so far away, it's not "real" to us.... but then.... there are enough hopeless, broken and helpless people living below the poverty line right in our own backyards...

as Christians we have no excuse... we are called to care... I am even going so far as to say if you don't care.. you might want to test yourself... Jesus came to bind up the broken hearted, to heal the sick and save the lost....He saved us... what are we going to do as we are living our lives as Ambassadors for Him?

He calls us to serve and to love and to share The Good News.... in deeds.. through action...
Priorities...He comes first and all He is about. than comes His church... the rest, like spouses, children, family, work, friends, leisure and entertainment comes after... yes, that is true....

He and all He is about... as we draw close to Him, get to know Him intimately,  He is faithful and will reveal what it is He wants us to do..... I have heard it explained like this before: the place where our passion, our talents and skills and our biggest perceived need intersect is where He is calling us to be at work for Him... ask Him... seek Him and His will, but be sure, it will not be about making your life more comfortable and "exciting".. it will be about bringing glory to Him by putting others first... :)

.. and His anger will burn against you...

a dear Facebook friend posted this today.. I have to admit I do not always watch everything others post.. because let's face it..  I do have a life and if I did that I could never get anything done...
this one peaked my interest though... occult and witchcraft... someone saved from the grip of New Age...  triggered by some concern about someone close to me I just had to watch it...

Deuteronomy 18: 10+11
 Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft,  or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead.

I am sure that in today's society most people would be able to read this and dismiss it... who is sacrificing babies in the fire... divination... sorcery... well, maybe a magician at a birthday party... but otherwise..
casting spells also sounds like Fairy Tale and so long ago.. a medium.. a spiritist... maybe even consulting the dead.. hmmmm...

listening what this young lady had to say and knowing my God.. who is a jealous God and who would consider "finding the Divine Self / Greater Self" or trying to foretell any piece of future as just this, witchcraft and divination ( this is what the dictionary says divination means: the practice of attempting to foretell future events or discover hidden knowledge by occult or supernatural means.) all I can think is "..uh-oh...."

Divination has the word divine in it... this is were the trouble lies... finding answers and even healing, something that gives us hope, anywhere but in Him... is SIN.... finding the Divine Self... this is just a huge lie... there is no Divine Self... God is Divine, He is the Only God.. He, in the form of the Holy Spirit enters us the moment we accept the gift of forgiveness.. realizing first that we are in need of it.. the moment we surrender our will, pledging to follow Him, understanding that our worth is through Him alone...
as the story of this beautiful young woman shows, God even will forgive allowing this kind of stuff in our lives.. but then, as with everything we ask God to forgive us for we HAVE to repent.. as in turn away from it and not sin anymore..

Watch it.. it is worth the few minutes of your time..... there is a BIG warning for all those that think they can just make up their own "God" in whichever way it pleases them.. combining Christianity with all kinds of , yes, witchcraft and divination, casting spells.. searching out mediums , horoscopes, numbers and all that stuff.... there are consequences..

for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land.  (Deuteronomy 6:15)

..FACTS.....

..it's been a while.. it seems like life has been like a whirlwind swirling around me... really more like a tornado.. so many things going on...
fact: God is Good all the Time
fact: in this world we WILL have trouble
fact: His peace is with us.. He left it here for us..
fact: His ways are not my ways, His thoughts not my thoughts...
fact: need to stop trying to want to figure it all out..
TRUST is what He wants.. and I do trust Him.
I CAN trust Him only because I know Him... Knowing Him is what my faith is all about..
trying to please Him as I navigate the crazy waters of my life..
Thanking Him in the valleys AND on the mountain tops.. because it is not about happiness but about
knowing Him more and glorifying Him by ( by His strength and grace) making choices that honour Him daily..
fact: I am a long way from glorifying Him in ALL I do..
fact: He already knew that and died for me anyways...
what LOVE is this..
THE END

..receiving the Crown of Life...

.. loving just HOW counter-cultural us "fanatic Bible-thumpers" are.. then again, this is what His Word says:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower.  For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. ( James 1: 2-12)

the ongoing, never-ending and thus frustrating and tiring, exhausting and exasperating struggles in my "original" family could drive a woman crazy... or make her fearful and anxious.. if.... the Spirit of the Holy God of the Universe was not in her, working out God's good and perfect will :)

it will take a few more steps for me to consider it PURE JOY, but there is neither fear, anxiety nor heartache... there is the PEACE that passes all understanding knowing that His Word is truth and that all that counts is the Crown of Life that is promised to those who love Him..
riches will pass away, the proud will come to fall, justice will be done and all will be made right!
Praising Him this morning for always being there... faithful and true, My God, My Redeemer and friend!!!

..taking up the cause of the Fatherless..

talking with a friend I stated that since I am a passionate Christian, even if it was not something the Lord commanded, a future partner in my life has to be a Christian as well..
my life revolves around the One who gave it to me... I see Him in everything... (and that's because He has created it all and is intricately involved in every detail of our lives.. duh...)
if we are aware of it or not, there is a spiritual realm.. another "level" that is going on at all times..

living my life to please Him as good as I can, with His help, I am also able to discern some things that others can't necessarily see.. maybe this is what makes me sensitive to what is going on around me on such a deep level..
not sure, I only know that understanding just how lost this world is is a constant awareness I have..

meeting with a  new client today, one sent to us by the CAS worker, we are so happy to be able to offer her some support with parenting her children... not necessarily what we are "advertising" for, considering we are a Pregnancy Care Center, but still equipped for it all the same..
the curriculum is here and one of the Volunteers is ready to meet with her one on one..

she will join the Young Moms group.. and might even bring her kids for the Kid's program we have on Wednesday nights at the church..
a younger sister, who is pregnant, will come to us as a client in a couple of weeks...

hearing the needs of this whole family I am struck once again by the hopelessness that characterizes some people's lives... we do not have to go far at all, all this is happening right here..

so sure of this calling of the Lord:

 Wash and make yourselves clean.

   Take your evil deeds out of my sight; 

   stop doing wrong. 

 Learn to do right; seek justice. 

   Defend the oppressed.

Take up the cause of the fatherless; 

   plead the case of the widow.

Isaiah 1:16

He is the Father of the Fatherless, the Redeemer of Souls.. He wants us to receive His Grace and Mercy and extend it to others, the gift of salvation is not just for us.. so that we can sit and enjoy the assurance of eternal life and God's blessing... He saves us to be His hands and feet.. my prayer is that He continues to break my heart for what breaks His.. and that He then will guide me on the path of sharing His hope and His love with the people in need... that's what life is all about!!!!

... head coverings... seriously??????? :O

I always like going to church... this morning I was looking forward to it even more than usually ...
 couldn't wait to hear what my Pastor had to say about the passage we were on for that week..

1 Corinthians 11: 2 - 16

 I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you. But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God.  Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head.  But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is the same as having her head shaved.  For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head.
  A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man.  For man did not come from woman, but woman from man;  neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.  It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels.  Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.  For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.
Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered?  Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him,  but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering.  If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the churches of God.

I do believe the Bible to be God's Word to us, I believe that we need to take it literally, always knowing the historical and cultural context... I do not believe you can pick and choose what you think is still relevant in our time... so I was very curious to hear what I would learn about this passage today.. hadn't heard anything specific about head coverings from God when reading the passage and meditating on it..

long story short, this is what the Good Dr. Paul Little had to say:
as expected he did not think that this was about head coverings for the women.. but rather about the wonderful topic of authority and submission.. of the husband submitting to and honouring Christ by not abdicating his leadership role in a marriage but rather leading and serving his wife selflessly and sacrificially... putting her first and laying his life down for her daily..
of the wife willingly submitting to her husband and respecting him, being his greatest Cheer leader.. not trying to usurp power... this is what God gave us and we are to embrace it.. we do not need to get hung up on this.. our value and worth are the same, we just have different roles... rather than coming up with excuses why we are not "doing it" we should work on ways to do it...
the need for security a woman feels can only be met by a husband who by his commitment and love takes on the responsibility of leadership in the marriage, no matter how unloveable the wife might seem at times ... the need for significance a husband feels can only be met by a wife who admires her husband and respects him, even if it is for the potential she knows he has... rather than fighting this we need to realize that we do depend on each other for these fundamental needs...

nothing new, have worked through this and heard about it many times... understand it and embrace it... I know that my God is to be trusted, whatever He tells us to do is for our best... after all, He is the manufacturer... so He knows what will work for us..

not married at the moment and fully aware that it needs two to decide to live this way I believe firmly that this is the only way it can work.. I have no problem with submitting, I am actually thankful I am not a man... glad that I am not the one responsible.. there is freedom in yielding and letting go of control....

thanks be to God this is what He meant... was not quite okay with the whole head covering thing... phew...

..May God hold you in the palm of His hand.. Happy St. Patrick's Day..

St. Patrick.... supposedly died March 17, 460 AD...
a son of a British Deacon he was abducted and lived in captivity in Ireland, he had to work as a shepherd outside, far away from everyone.. scared and alone he turned to his faith and became a very devout Christian...

according to his writing, a voice—which he believed to be God's—spoke to him in a dream, telling him it was time to leave Ireland.

to do so, Patrick walked nearly 200 miles from County Mayo, where it is believed he was held, to the Irish coast. after escaping to Britain, Patrick reported that he experienced a second revelation—an angel in a dream told him to return to Ireland as a missionary. soon after, Patrick began religious training, a course of study that lasted more than 15 years. after his ordination as a priest, he was sent to Ireland with a dual mission: to minister to Christians already living in Ireland and to begin to convert the Irish.

familiar with the Irish language and culture, Patrick chose to incorporate traditional ritual into his lessons of Christianity instead of attempting to eradicate native Irish beliefs, like  superimposing a sun, a powerful Irish symbol, onto the Christian cross to create what is now called a Celtic cross, so that veneration of the symbol would seem more natural to the Irish.


the Irish culture centered around a rich tradition of oral legend and myth. When this is considered, it is no surprise that the story of Patrick's life became exaggerated over the centuries—spinning exciting tales to remember history has always been a part of the Irish way of life.

Ireland has always fascinated me... it is especially sad that I have not been there yet.. I have read many historic novels and historic books and I love the way everything looks so very green..

today is St. Patricks Day and many are celebrating... I have said before I rather was Irish... and it is true..
well, one of these days I might just have to travel to Ireland ... and maybe I will then get a chance to celebrate St. Paddy's day myself...

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!