... filthy rags..

..two full weeks and my 48th year of life will come to an abrupt end.. I will turn 48... pretty old I would say... and the 49th year of my life will begin..
it's the way my Grandmother used to always say it and I thought I am going to share this with you.. :)

48 is almost 50 and I hear that life will really begin once you are turning 50... works for me..
all kidding aside I am so very thankful for where God has me at the end of this my 48th year...

He has given me 3 wonderful daughters, who like I put it today talking about them to a friend, are my most treasured and cherished human beings... then there are my puppies, and you are guessing it, they would be my most cherished and treasured animals.. :D

He has blessed me by filling my life with wonderful friends, brothers and sisters in Christ that bring so much joy to my every day ..  renewed and restored relationships with extended family members, a blessing indeed...

passionate about life and all that it is about He has given me a true purpose..
He has freed me from most of my fears.. ( I am no longer hiding from my dentist, or try to get out of obligations that had me get on a plane...)

most of all I am blessed though to have been walking closely with my best friend for the last almost 18 years.. Jesus , God's son and God Himself, He has been faithful and full of love.. He has gently nudged me and stretched me and transformed me, pointing out weaknesses without condemnation, but with love.. supplying the means for change, He is the One that has to be praised for anything in me that is not as bad as it was before.. because..all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.. ( Isaiah 64 : 6) ..for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God ( Romans 3: 23)

confronted with a real weakness that has come to the forefront only in the last year or so, I again had to go to Him for the strength to change, for Him to change me, because I am not able to do this on my own..
I am frustrated about myself and was reminded again just how HUGE and unending His love for me is..

the area in Germany I grew up in there is a saying,... it says that a "Swabian" ( someone born in Swabia... ) suddenly becomes wise when turning 40... maybe there is hope for an almost 50 year old uprooted German in Canada... let's see what God is going to do....