it is so great how He keeps His Word, like when He says that He will perfect us... never stop refining us, making us more like Himself...
I am also so amazed how He works everything out and puts people in our lives to speak His wisdom and love into our circumstances..
was challenged today, to surrender my desire for a man in my life.. I know, have talked about that again and again... now this though is taking the surrendering to even a different level all together...
remember Abraham? and his son Isaac? when the Lord told Him to take Isaac, the son he had waited for like it seemed forever, and sacrifice him...
just read Genesis 22 again and it boggles my mind how Abraham just takes his son and goes on ahead where God told him to go...
pretty black and white, pretty straightforward...
do you think this was an easy thing for him... I cannot imagine what was going through Abraham's mind... I wonder how much he struggled... I wonder if he questioned God, what was this all about... first promise the son, then, even make good on the promise.. just to take him away again... and even make him do it himself????? that's cruel....
whatever might have gone through Abraham's mind, we might never know.. ( I am planning on asking him when I see him :) but, he did obey, he took his son and prepared to offer him to God as a sacrifice......
wow... such obedience, such trust...
for me, does that mean, I am to give this up? offer it to Him... accepting whatever He will do... even if that means never again to be in a love relationship with a man?
wisdom spoken to me today... maybe God knows that I would lose focus, that I would put that man higher even than my relationship with Him... would I make Him an idol in my heart? that's possible...hmmm...
so me sacrificing, totally surrendering my desire and wish for a man in my life...it's saying to Him that He is indeed all that I need...
that's tough... talking to Him in the car this evening I kind of told Him that I would like to do that, have no idea what it would take to really mean this and what I would need to do?? other than stop looking that is....
I also told Him that this whole surrendering thing is kind of funny to me, because I so believe that He is in control anyways,... so what do I really have to surrender????
basically I can only benefit from doing this... so when longings come up I will need to take them captive and run into the arms of my Jesus... I told Him as well that He better come through for me then, when I feel lonely ... that He needs to meet me in those places... I know He will... because really, any man I have known has let me down and not fulfilled my needs and desires perfectly, as much as I never was able to fulfill theirs... but Jesus... He knows me more than anyone ever could, and He is capable of everything... He loves me perfectly... so, now that I told Him that, I am waiting in expectation.. how He is going to do that... how will it feel?
the wise friend also pointed out that this is not just a decision, but a process... that explains the fact that I have talked about this on and of.... so... another step towards the goal.. peeling away layer after layer...
letting go of any perceived control... committing to giving Him my dreams and deepest longings.. don't let me down Jesus...( I know you won't.... :)
oh... and by the way.. in case you didn't know... God did not let Abraham sacrifice his son... that's not who He is... :)
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