( like I have for her sisters) and not of the 2nd anniversary of her father leaving late at night to never come back again.... I definitely will grant her wish..
so today, 2 days before that "Anniversary" ( I thought we used that word mainly for Wedding Anniversaries.. :S
let me share a few thoughts on that whole ordeal...
I have been encouraged many times throughout the last two years by friends telling me, that the way I have worked through this Tsunami / Disaster in my life has been an inspiration to them...
truth is that my God, the Creator of the Universe, Jesus, the Son of God and my personal Saviour, has turned what was meant for evil into something good... He came through for me by keeping His promise that for those that love Him, that have been called according to His purpose, He will work ALL things out for good...
I think He has walked with me through the grieving and has restored me.. He has kept another promise.. a fav scripture memorized many years ago : In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith —of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proven genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
truth remains that God hates divorce, and that the man who promised to stick with me through thick and thin should not have walked away.. I just want to make sure that no one would interpret my last posts in the way that I am saying this was good after all... it was good DESPITE what happened... just because God is bigger than any sin committed by anyone.
Divorce is not the solution for a difficult marriage. Jesus is. Disobedience is never the right choice, no matter what one feels two years later.
the fact that God has refined me, that I know Him so much more which is the greatest blessing, does not take away from the scars this sin has left behind. the sadness will always be there about something that just broke the hearts of all involved.. God's included..
it grieved the Holy Spirit and there are no ifs and buts that can ever justify disobeying God.
in His love and mercy He has been our Comforter, the source of our joy...and peace.. a sin is a sin though, and for every sin there always will be consequences..
I think I must have one of the best Ex-husbands there is and that in itself is a blessing from God. we are good friends in all of this and for that I am thankful. I am still praying for his salvation because in the end, that is what it is all about. The God of Mercy and Compassion will forgive him for leaving us as much as I have forgiven him... if he comes to Him with a broken and contrite heart..
no sin is bigger than another, we all need God's forgiveness and like my beloved Pastor so wonderfully puts it.. the ground is level at the foot of the cross...
so I am not pointing any fingers... each one of us will be held accountable by a just and holy God.. will He see the check mark "paid in full" behind our names or not... will we have trusted Jesus to have died for our sins and then committed to following Him with all that we are and have and do... that's what it comes down to...
so there, that's it.. no more reminiscing about this incomprehensible pain I felt two years ago.. choosing to delight in the here and now.. the fact that my baby is turning 15, my mother is still alive and we will celebrate Christmas together... Christmas as in Christ, the Saviour was born that day... the Prince of Peace, Mighty God, Holy One.. ( NOT Santa Claus...) :P
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