.... losing sight of the CONNECTION that counts...

facebook, twitter, blogging,... texting.... what did we do before we got so used to all these ways of communicating CONSTANTLY????

My mother used to make fun of me by saying my "eighties - baby" was growing up with the phone cord around her.. ( that was me talking to her for hours figuring out the secrets of motherhood )  

today's kids don't even know that phones had cords at one point in time... 

writing letters? I had a pen pal when I was a teenager, a girlfriend living about an hour away, we would write to each other pretty much as soon as the letter arrived, which would be a day after it was sent....

last Sunday I decided to get off facebook for some time and reduce my texting and twitter activities...

I realized I was receiving some of my affirmation and sense of importance through connecting with people that way...

I am energized by relating to others, I usually enjoy being together with my kids, my friends... I also have a profound need to be alone, which then makes the fact that I am "alone" as in no longer married so much more evident... so really, these devices have become even more important for me...

as I have been trying to find all I need in my relationship with God, I just decided I needed to get rid of the devices that make me feel less alone.. because , the truth is I am, I am not, because I do have my kids and my friends that love me,  but I am, because I am not a part of a couple ... the plan is to be fine with that... and I am, but then I am not other times..

Long story short... these last 4 days I have been praying a lot more and taking my loneliness to Him, rather than trying to distract myself by knowing everything everyone is sharing with everyone... wow... that's crazy anyways...

I am not signing off facebook for good.... just taking some time off...  ( I will actually post this on there today.... but just not go on ;)for a while, fixing my eyes on the eternal... he was enough the last 2000 years...  He is today, and He will be for the next 2000 years if this is the plan.....  I am fearfully and wonderfully made; my God does not make junk... I am complete and I am His beloved child, I have a purpose and He made me to long for Him... like the Donut man back then told my kids... our hearts are like donuts... they have a hole in the middle that only He can fill, no friends on facebook or followers on twitter or my blog.....  

So I am continuing to draw close to Him, because He promised to draw close to me then, He also said He would be found if I am seeking Him with all my heart... and I am, I surely am....