..my first love...

from my time with the Lord this morning:
to the church of Ephesus... a church that has been faithful in suffering and true to their calling... this is what Jesus says:

yet I hold this against you: you have forsaken the love you had at first.  consider how far you have fallen! repent and do the things you did at first.... (Rev 2:4+5)

Paul in his letter to the Ephesian church:
therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God... ( Eph 5:1+2)

and I am being challenged.. has my first love dimmed? do I walk in love and imitate God to those around me? do I always remember what He gave for me, what He was willing to endure? is my passion for Him all it should be?

it guides me in my decisions... when I forgive, I do so because He first forgave me, when I reach out in love to those that hurt and persecute me I do so because he loved me when I was still His enemy, when I patiently endure another blow and choose to accept the suffering, I am following His example... all not out of what I could do, but because He lives in me and gives me the strength and the ability to do this...

but, where is the passion? has it grown cold? or at least cooler? I need to be honest and say yes, this is true, sometimes more than other times but it seems that I too have a hard time maintaining this first love of mine for Him, the lover of my soul... I have to admit that I sometimes look around me to find the fulfillment only He can provide... even a new ministry, as much as it is in tune with what God has called me... if I find fulfillment there it has become an idol and I have allowed for my eyes to be taken off Him... the author and perfecter of my faith.

even when longing for a man to love and to be loved I am searching in the wrong place... drawing close to Him this morning I am praying for the fire of my first love to be rekindled... for it to become a  consuming fire.... burning away all that is in the way to be an imitator of God... walking in love, as He in His unfailing love modelled for me, when He gave His life, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.