...beauty in the turmoil... ...Because of the LORD's great love... we are not consumed for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is His faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22 23) Sometimes this "feels" so true, it makes me get up, full of energy and passion, ready to serve and trust...let His Glory shine forth through my imperfections and cracks... other days, it's all I can do not to hide under my covers and cry, pleading with my Lord to give me the strength to be the mother and friend I need to be..But His Compassion never fails, and that is TRUE, no matter what the start of my day looks like. 6 months have gone by since that devastating day, when life as I knew it came to a screeching halt. The Lord's faithfulness is what has allowed me to keep going..only, it seems, for a new hit to come my way, this time through another person that was supposed to be someone I could count on... my own mother. In an effort to work on our relationship that had grown pretty strained since I became a Christian and had withdrawn from all the common behaviors in my family... gossip, negativity, aggression, unforgiveness,... I was sitting right next to her at a family dinner..when she told me that she thought it served me right that my husband had cheated on me and left me... I was stunned. It felt like I had just ran full force into a concrete wall...she continued to spew hatred at me for a little bit while I was trying to stay composed and not let my children clue into what was going on... Long story short... not only did I not have a husband anymore, I officially did not have a mother anymore either. My father had been abusive and using and betraying me for a long time, so, even though I had forgiven him a long time ago, he was not a father to me... It seemed that God was removing one person after another from my life that I was finding some kind of security in...was it to find my security, hope, future and purpose in Him alone????????? Could this be the purpose of Him allowing any trials in our lives? We can be sure that God is the one allowing trials of any kind in our lives, He is allowing them because they will ultimately benefit us... refine us, make us more like Him... we can refuse to let Him teach us and try to get away from under the pressure He is applying ... we could get injured and hurt by resisting the Lord to make us more holy, less selfish and self sufficient..if we become unforgiving and bitter and because of that others will be hurt as well...  So understanding that a loving and caring God is leading us through the difficult times for our good should help...shouldn't it? Walking through difficulties is after all one of the most common activities of a Christian...Jesus Himself told us: "in this world you will have troubles, but I have overcome the world"...Paul is telling the Corinthians: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal".. (2. Cor 4:17 18).  It's a no brainer, right??? When He first saved us, lifted us up, flooded our hearts with His unfailing love and it seemed to good to be true... we were sure we would never question, doubt or feel we just couldn't go on anymore. As we grew in our faith, got to know the Lord better drawing close to Him and He was drawing closer to us, He slowly taught us to understand the truth of our purpose for being here..because we are His children He is constantly at work in our hearts, refining us by allowing the heat to rise, bring the sin and imperfections to the surface, only for them to be broken off of us...( that process is painful as well..) the result is someone who knows who he or she is in Christ, someone who is relying on Him only, someone who stands with her or his arms wide open, inviting whatever God has for her ( I am talking about myself... sorry...) to come her way, no self defense necessary.. because she trusts Him... and that doesn't mean that when the next blow hits her she will not at first be shocked again... but hopefully the refining has left her in a place where His beauty will be visible to those around her... Trusting Him, every second of every day!!!!!!!!!!